Honesty
I always loved the new year's eve! All the fireworks with their colorful lights, sparkling bright in the dark sky, have such a romantic and melancholic atmosphere to them, which makes me happy. As always I spent it with my dear friends Yugi, Tristan and Tea.
But this year the king of games invited some more friends, we made over the past years. All of them were there, except the pharao, who disappeared not too long ago. I guess that's why everyone held back with their individual plans.
Yugi feels a lot better now, having lots of people around to have fun with.
With a big smile he just put out an empty bottle to prepare the rockets, together with Tea and Ryu, who's a little scared. Tristan and Duke stood a few steps behind, giggling. Rebecca, Serenity and Mai were chatting with big hearts in their eyes. Obviously girls-talk.
Well, yeah and I? I'm standing next to them, and right next to me, just a few centimeters away, Seto Kaiba as majesty and cold as always.
Okay, don't panic, Joseph. It's not like it is such a rare occasion, after all we are classmates since high school, I kept repeating to myself while I could not prevent my eyes from moving over his athletic, but at the same time, slender figure. Instantly I could feel how my heartbeat hastened. I never quite understood how he could even manage to maintain his body figure. He did not take part in any P.E. classes even once. But to tell the truth, it was not that bad. There was nothing I wanted to do more than let my hands slide over his body. My cheeks blushed in less than a few seconds, as I noticed his eyes on me. Don't panic, I told myself again. It couldn't be that he possibly noticed my stare, could it? I gulped nervously. “Eh... Just wondering what brought you here.”, I tried to say as casually as possible. I mean, in my opinion it was a quite reasonable question, wasn't it? The gathering right now was for friends and I could not recall that Seto Kaiba was one of Yugis friends – or even a friend of anyone here.
It took the blue eyed CEO some time to answer. Usually, he didn't even talk to me at all, I was the one starting a conversation randomly, I recognized. Because rather than taking his time, it seemed like he was thinking of whether he should even bother to answer or not. Haven't I thought about how nice he looked, a few moments ago? It took me exactly 15 seconds to hate his characteristics instead. He's way too conceited. Just as I wanted to turn away and leave him be, because I didn't expect him to say anything at all, he answered with a monotonous voice.
“Yugi invited us, so Mokuba dragged me along.”
My eyes wandered to Kaibas face. His cold gaze was riveted at his little Brother, who joined the group of preparers and started to line up the smaller fireworks even he could light on. The place our little meeting took place was in front of grandfather Mutos shop. But I couldn't care any less about time or place at that moment. Did Kaiba honestly answer my question properly without calling me a dog or insult me in any other way? Wow.
Now it was my turn to stay silent for quite a while. It was like a new year's eve wonder – like Seto Kaiba chose to be nice on the last day of the current year. A small and silly smile sneaked on my lips, but disappeared as fast as it rose before. What was I thinking just a few minutes ago? I hated his characteristics? How could I?! In some way it was nice of him to not offend me.
“Ah. I see.”, I finally replied and forced myself to not stare at him any further. My hands slid into my pockets and I looked around. So actually Mokuba was the reason why I was blessed with Seto Kaibas attendance. I really appreciated it. Maybe it was my chance, given by the lords, to approach the brunette. I bit my lower lip. Should I? Or was it just going to be a suicidal act?
When I arrived at Yugis house earlier he asked me what goals I set myself for the coming year. To be honest I didn't really think about such things until then. I started to do so and came to think of one thing. I wanted to be more honest with myself. As a result I was able to finally accept, that I fell in love with that ice-cold, fridge-like, heartless, conceited, egoistic bastard who never missed to despise me. I couldn't believe this could ever happen in my life. Not only being attracted by a guy, but also let it be Seto Kaiba.
Okay, so I'm honest to myself, that should be fine right? I don't have to be honest with him about this too. There's no reason to. I'm totally fine! I took another glance at the man beside me and didn't notice how I fell under the spell of his silky brown hair falling in strands over his deep light-blue eyes. I wondered if his hair had always been so beautiful or if I just hadn't noticed – though it wasn't that absurd. Seto Kaiba wasn't like other people this age, like those who dyed or styled their hair. So I think his hair was pretty much in exactly the same style since his birthday. Wow... I couldn't fight the sudden laugh. I knew what the brunette was thinking at that moment. I'd lost it. And yeah, that's petty much the same thought I would have, if suddenly someone suddenly burst out in laugh. But I just couldn't resist. The thought of Seto Kaiba as a baby, who already had that Seto Kaiba-like hairstyle, was too much for me.
“Evertything alright, Joey?”, a voice suddenly appeared, “Are you drunk?” Dark eyes looked at me with a veil of inquietude.
“Moki! I'm fine! I'm fine!”, I still giggled while I friendly put my arm around his shoulders. “Yeah... fine...”, he muttered shaking his head.
Mokuba stayed with us while watching the small fireworks all sparkling and glowing in the dark. Then he looked at his smartphone. “Oh just two minutes 'til midnight! Can I light one of the rockets, Seto, pleeeeaaase?”, he asked his brother with big puppy eyes, that no one on earth could resist, not even the big iceberg-that-sank-the-titanic-Kaiba.
And as expected he sighed beaten.
“Be careful.”
“Yaaay!”, an overwhelming shout of joy left Mokubas mouth and just a second later he had already ran off to Yugi & Co. I started grinning immediately and again I set my eyes on the big brother, who obviously didn't want to be here at all, guessed by the dark face he made, targeting something invisible. They must really love each other.
“Is there something on my face, or why are you starring at me all the time, Wheeler?”, he suddenly spoke up.
Urgs. My eyes widened and his cold voice made the small hair on my skin stand. I instantly felt caught. Shit! Did I look at him so much? No way! My face turned all red, up to the ears.
"Eh..." Yeah, that was pretty much the only thing my brain was able to fabricate in that situation. So I really begun to think that maybe my brain could only take that much. Probably I was really that dump mutt Seto Kaiba always said. My eyes wandered around. Like everywhere, but him. What should I say? What could I possibly say so it wouldn't sound like a love confession. Like a teenage girl that was head over heals in love with the high school heartthrob. I desperately bit my bottom lip. Come on, Joey. There must be something casual, something cool..., I thought intensely.
My eyes continued to wander around as I realized, that Mokuba and Yugi were counting down to midnight. Yes! That's it! I just needed to say something cool exactly when the fireworks started and Kaiba wouldn't understand a word! That was a really hilarious plan! An awesome plan! I turned to face him and look him in the eyes with a chilled look.
10... 9...8...
"Well, I've always.."
5...4...
"...wanted to tell you.."
3...2...
...1!!!
"... that I love you!"
Yeah, well done! ... Wait. WHAT?!?! That wasn't what I wanted to say after all! Argh, but I don't care, he didn't hear me anyways, or so I thought.
But something was wrong. Terribly wrong. I saw his eyes widened and his face muscles seemed to lose all strength. Then I realized it was deadly silent. Everyone around suddenly stared at us. My head went completely blank. What. Did. Just. Happen?
Very slowly I turned my head to the rocket, which was still placed in the bottle.
Oh.
Fuck.
“Ha... Ha...Hahaha...”, I faked a laugh while I scratched the back of my head. My eyes wandered around, to Yugi, over Tea and the others to Seto Kaiba and back . How could I accidentally blab out something like that? Something nobody was supposed to know – never ever. It was hardly okay, that there already was one person – who would be myself. So, in my opinion this was more than enough! But no!
Just like always I randomly shouted it out! How could I think that I would be able to keep it my dirty little secret 'til I would be buried?”
I think the real big problem wasn't actually that I blabbed my own secret, rather that Seto Kaiba was one of the person who heard it.
“So... I... It's not what you think, guys...!”, I tried to trick them with a silly grin, “As if... Come on, guys! You can't really think that I.. and him? Impossible Hahahahaha!” I knew quite well that the way I tried to manage the situation was so bad played, so unbelievable – even for me.
No one said a word. The only response I got was from Kaiba himself, if you count “no expression” as a response. But in his case I guess that was way more dramatic than I ever imagined him to react after all. I took a deep shivering breath and held it in. Someone had to do something. Anyone.
Please!
I couldn't take the shocked silence anymore. I guess everyone waited for Kaiba to say something, but he just kept his mouth shut and stared at me intensely instead.
“Oh come on! This always works in Manga!”, I threw at him desperately and didn't waste another second to start running away, leaving the whole scenery. My head was exploding, as I sprinted through the streets, where everyone lit fireworks. I couldn't care any less about freaking fireworks right now. My cheeks blushed as hell and all I could think of, was that I just really fucked up. Kaiba definitely hated me now!
Oh wait. No problem, that's what he's always done! Now I hate myself.
TBC~
