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Tough Girls

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CH2
 

Vivi was sitting on the couch covered in blankets, hot chocolate in her hand and a chick film in the TV when the door opened.
 

"You are back early..." the bluenette stated. "Was the guy that bad?"
 

"Is that a DVD?" Nami motioned towards the television.
 

"Yup. 27 Dresses. I started watching it like 10 minutes ago so it won't be a problem to start from the beginning. Wanna join me?"
 

"Give me sec." Nami disappeared again, just to come back in her sweats and an old shirt instead of the dress she had been wearing before, and with a cup of chocolate, chips and blankets in her hands.
 

"So how did it go?" Vivi asked again, wanting to get at least the gist of what had happened that her friend came back after only two hours.
 

"You won't believe me.." Nami muttered while arranging her blankets so she could sit down.
 

"We will see.." Vivi gave her a reassuring smile.
 

"First of all, the guy acted just way too crazy when he spoke to me. Calling me princess and other weird stuff and trying to make everything perfect. Don't say anything! I know that it sounds quite cute, but he was just so overdoing it." Nami shook her head in disbelief. "As I said, he is a cook and he had invited me to his place to show me his skills. I was fine with that, since you rarely get to date a cook of all things, and he had said that he was the best in town. And let me tell you: the food was delicious. The guy may have been weird as hell at the beginning but when it came to food he calmed down somehow and I even enjoyed myself, despite the lack of normal conversation. But when it came to dessert, things got even crazier. That guy can't hold his liquor for shit..." the ginger sighed.
 

"Did he try something weird?" Vivi questioned, looking a bit worried.
 

"Oh no. He didn't try something weird. He just somehow confessed to me that he was gay as hell, but enjoyed the company of women way too much and as he was currently single, he decided to date them, hoping to fall in love with one of them."
 

"Are you serious?" the bluenette giggled. "What a weirdo."

"Definitely. We chatted for a while, but drunk as he was, he was even more annoying than sober, but I have promised him to take him to some parties so he could meet my female friends before leaving. He was a nice guy after all and the cooking skills.. just wow... Anyway, are we gonna watch that movie or not?" Nami finished her tale, not sure how she should think about the evening at all.
 

"You really have some weird luck..." Vivi commented just as she hit "Play".
 

"I obviously do."

-----------------------
 

"I guess I don't have to ask how your date went." Nami looked up from the tests she was correcting when Vivi entered her room.
 

It was already Thursday afternoon, but the girls hadn't seen each other since before Vivi left to meet Ace the evening before.
 

"How so?" Vivi shot her a confused look.
 

"You are shining brighter than the sun, and that wouldn't be the case if Ace had turned out to be the biggest prick alive." the ginger commented with her best teacher voice.
 

"You are right! He is just sooo sweet and well-mannered!" Vivi seemed truly happy.
 

"So when's the next date?"
 

"Tomorrow evening! Unfortunately we can't get out today as he has to work."
 

The last comment got Nami's interest. She didn't care about the guy Vivi was dating till they truly got into a relationship, but there weren't many jobs where you had to work late in the evening. She had to make sure that Vivi didn't fall in love with the wrong guy again.
 

"He is a firefighter." Vivi explained, her cheeks getting a rosier tone than before.
 

"Let me guess, you imagined him in his uniform right now?" the amusement in the ginger's voice was obvious.
 

"Hell no!" Vivi turned even redder. "What are you doing, by the way?"
 

"Just correcting some mathhomework..." Nami yawned demonstratively.
 

"Have fun!" Vivi laughed and closed the door behind herself. She wasn't going to disturb her friend from the very interesting work, knowing that if she did, the poor kids would have to wait centuries to get their stuff back. And everybody hates that, right?

---------------------
 

"What the hell is wrong?" Nami could have imagined a better greeting from her sister, but proceeded to hug her anyway, ignoring the question.
 

"Nami?" the older woman asked. "Helloooo?"

"The flight was just terrible..." the ginger muttered and walked towards the living room.
 

"Is Marco home?" she asked, searching her sister's fiancee.
 

"He went shopping as he was too lazy to do it yesterday and we need something to eat." Nojiko explained, joining her sister in the living room. "So what happened?" she shot her a curious glance. Nami was looking truly terrible with her hair being a mess and the bags under her eyes.
 

"The flight was hell. That's all." the ginger repeated.
 

"Oh come on, tell me what happened." Nojiko didn't intend to give up before she knew what she wanted.
 

"Can I get some coffee first?" the younger sister yawned.
 

"Get it yourself."
 

Isn't it great to have siblings?
 

"Well, the first reason why I look like this is the fact that you have to be at the airport two hours before your actual flight. That means at 6 am when your flight comes at eight and you have to wake up another two hours earlier just to get there in time." Nami explained with annoyance. "Why the fuck do you have to live on an island of all things? Getting here by car would have been so much easier!"
 

Nojiko glared at her sister, but she didn't manage to hold the act up for too long. "Is that all?"
 

"No. The worst was the man sitting next to me in the plane." Nami grumbled. "He stank like cigarettes.. And you know how much I hate that smell."
 

"Indeed..." Nojiko grinned at the memory of how Nami made Marco quit smoking.
 

"As I couldn't sleep due to the smell, I tried to make some conversation with the man. He was grumpy and unfriendly, but it was quite fun. I guess it was just his general way..."

"That sounds like Smoker." Marco's voice came from the hallway. "And hello Nami." the blonde went straight for a hug from his sister in law.
 

"Smoker? That fits.." the ginger sighed. "Anyway, everything was fine until we left the plane. I walked some steps behind Smoker when he suddenly stopped and turned towards me. He muttered something like "Please play along" and took my hand. He dragged me along, muttering some weird stuff and kissing me on the cheek. Stunned as I was, I allowed him to lead me to the package station where I finally woke up and wanted an explanation. Of course he didn't give me one and begged me to wait until we are in a taxi. At that point, I was pretty angry and wanted to call the police, when a pink-haired woman approached us just so slap Smoker."

"Hina?" the surprise was clear on Marco's face. "What the hell is she doing here?"
 

"Anyway, she turned towards me and started to lecture me about dating older men. It was just so surreal..."

While Nojiko frowned more and more with every word, Marco started laughing when Nami fell silent.
 

"What happened next?" his fiancee wanted to know the end of the story, ignoring the man.
 

"I gave them both a weird look, grabbed my things and left. Neither of them followed me and I took a cab to come here. Tada. I don't even want to know what the fuck was up with those two..." the ginger finished her story.
 

"Well... I know them." Marco has finally calmed down.
 

"So much was obvious." the blonde was interrupted by Nojiko. "You know their names after all.."
 

"Whatever. Anyway: Hina is smoker's ex-wife. Those two broke up because Hina was transferred to another city and Smokey didn't want to leave this place because he was needed or some reason like that. Of course Hina got pissed that work was more important to him than she was and left, having a lot of affairs since then. The joke is, they are legally still married. As far as I know Smoker hasn't had a single thing going on since their break-up two years ago and that's why I believe he took the chance to piss off Hina, using you. He is a good guy, but talking about relationships between people he is a complete idiot."
 

"And how the hell do you know these weird people?" Nami asked, watching Marco sceptically.
 

"They work together." Nojiko explained before her fiancee could as much as open his mouth.
 

"WHAT?" Nami couldn't believe what she heard. "They are police officers? Those freaks?"

Marco nodded. "Inspectors. Both pretty successful and especially Smoker is really feared among criminals."

"Hard to believe." Nami shook her head, but the blonde only grinned.
 

"How about you make us something to eat?" Nojiko kissed Marco on the cheek, changing the topic successfully.
 

"When you tell me what you want..." the man stood up, not even trying to protest as he had resigned a long time ago as Nojiko couldn't cook anything that didn't contain mandarines.

----------------------------
 

"I hope you didn't get lonely without me!" Nami shouted, opening the door to the flat. She was in a good mood, as the flight back home had been way more pleasant than expected.
 

"Welcome back!" Vivi appeared from her room. "How has your trip been?"
 

"Pretty nice. Even though it is about time for Nojiko and Marco to finally agree on a wedding date." Nami sighed. "Two years already and they still didn't really think about it. Why?"
 

A soft smile appeared on Vivi's lips. "Don't push them. They know what's best for them."
 

"I know. But when Nojiko gets pregnant you can bet who will have the pleasure of planning their wedding.."
 

"Marco has enough brothers to help out, doesn't he?" Vivi tried to argument.
 

"First of all: brothers. Second: I don't know even half of them as they work all around the world."
 

"Then don't worry. It will be okay. And you can't know if they are even planning children or working on it. And I guess we both don't want to know. Don't worry about such things. Is it your phone?"

Nami pulled out her phone from her bag, quite surprised to see Nojiko's number there.
 

"Nojiko? Why is she calling?" Vivi looked even more confused than the ginger. "Did you forget something?"

Nami shrugged, since she already hit the answer button. "Yeah?"

"Hey there. Did the flight back go without trouble?" Nojiko' voice came from the speakers.
 

"Yup, Everything was fine." the ginger answered, still confused. "But I doubt that's why you are calling."
 

"Indeed." the older sister laughed softly. "I wanted to tell you the end of the Smoker-Hina story from Saturday morning."

"Why should I be interested?" Nami couldn't help but question.
 

"Because it is quite funny! And you are interested! So listen!" Nojiko silenced her effectively, pointing out the truth once again. "Smoker and Hina are back together as Hina is coming back! And somehow they are going to adopt a little girl called Tashigi, who's parents' murder Hina has investigated some months ago. They think it will do them some good to have a third person there and as the girl would have been sent to an orphanage in any other case..."

"Lucky girl." Nami muttered "But will those two be able to care for a child?"
 

"We will see." Nojiko's voice was soft. "Anyway, that's all. Say hello to Vivi from me."
 

"Okay? See ya?" Nami didn't get her sister sometimes...
 

"Come to speak of relationships, how was your date with Ace?" Nami asked as the two young women walked into the kitchen, intending to grab something to eat.
 

"Not date. Dates." Vivi winked at her friend.
 

"Dates?" Nami asked surprised. "How many? I have been away only three days!"
 

"Well. Counting Friday, three." the bluenette was grinning from ear to ear.
 

"Pretty nice."
 

"They have been wonderful!" Vivi swooned. "And guess what!"
 

"What?" Nami wasn't too sure what to expect at this point.
 

"We are officially together now!" The girl exclaimed happily.
 

"You are joking!" Nami was grinning by now as well. This was some good news as it meant that Vivi took her advice seriously and did her best to get over Kohza. And a cute nice guy like Ace made it even easier. Besides, the revelation proved one theory Nami had had: Kohza and Vivi had been together only because they were used to it, not out of love for the last year or two as it seemed. Somehow, she was thankful to Kohza. Even if the breakup and especially the reason for it was the silliest thing ever.
 

But all that didn't matter now. Vivi was happy and already in a new relationship, two weeks after she parted ways with her previous partner. She didn't love Ace, but obviously had a huge crush on him. That was enough for the time being!
 

"Congratulations!" the ginger hugged her friend, still grinning.



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Von:  Sumsie
2015-05-31T23:49:15+00:00 01.06.2015 01:49
Heii :)

Das zweite Kapitel ging runter wie Butter. Ich muss allerdings sagen, dass mich die Szenenwechsel laufend verwirrt haben, da es zu den anderen Absätzen keinen Unterschied gibt. Vielleicht könntest du ein bestimmtes Zeichen oder mehr Leerabsätze (keine Ahnung wie ich es sonst nennen soll) einbauen.

Was mir sehr gut gefällt sind die Überleitungen nach einem Satz. Es ist oft so, dass einfach nur "sagte er/sie/es" geschrieben wird und das 100 mal nacheinander und das macht es wieder uninteressant. Aber du schaffst es stets einen angenehmen Wortlaut daraus zu formen und nicht lange um den heißen Brei zu schreiben.

Mich würde interessieren warum du es auf Englisch geschrieben und veröffentlicht hast. Gefällt dir die Sprache besser als deutsch oder möchtest du damit mehr Leute erreichen?

So jetzt mach ich mich aber ans weiterlesen ^^

Antwort von:  viv-heart
01.06.2015 08:54
Hi^^
Oh, das tut mir echt leid. Ursprünglich war da eine Formatierung drinne aber sie scheint nicht übernommen worden zu sein. Bei ff.net gibt es auch dieses Problem... Ich kümmere mich heute Nachmittag darum.

Bei tumblr gibt es charts und Tabellen um das perfekte Wort ohne viele Umschreibungen zu finden. An sich gibt es dort allgemein sehr viele Tips und Tricks die man gebrauchen kann und als ich angefangen habe mit fanfic schreiben habe ich mich hingesetzt und geübt :D

Aaaalso. Märchenstunde :D Ich bin irgendwann im Sommer 2013 (ist das lange her O_O) tumblr beigetreten um alles mögliche, aber vor allem anime-news, zu sehen. Da bin ich auf eine Ereri Autorin gestoßen die einfach nur super berühmt war und hab ihre Story verfolgt - natürlich auf Englisch. Irgendwann hat sich dann ergeben dass ich wieder angefangen habe One Piece zu lesen und aufzuholen und da kam mir eine KidLaw fanfic unter die Nase (Worth von Doctor_Cyance. Immer zu empfehlen) und da wars zu spät. Irgendwann gab es aber kein KidLaaw Zeug mehr zu lesen und was macht man da? Fängt an selbst zu schreiben und joa :D Ich hab zwischenzeitlich auch versucht auf Deutsch zu lesen, aber da ich OC-stories nicht leiden kann und leider so 90% der Geschichten hier genau diese sind, hab ich auf die Deutsche Community verzichtet bis mich eine Freundin gebeten hat zu übersetzen, was sich als schwer ergeben hat da Englsich für fanfics im endeffekt besser geeignet ist :D


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