Title: The Steps We're Taking
In the beginning, it is overwhelming.
It is Jared being too tall and too loud for your cosy little world, where it's usually only you and yourself and most of all silence. And you love silence, you want silence, even more so now that Jared's around, who doesn't seem to even know that word.
He's in your space all the time, taking up all the air you need to breathe and you don't know how to get rid of him. So you do the only thing that's left to do: You shut up and accept it.
* * *
After some time, it gets easy.
It's easy laughter and carefree chatter, whole afternoons spent sitting on the couch in front of the TV, playing PSP, watching a game or just talking nonsense.
It's the easiest relationship you've ever been in. Jared doesn't demand anything, he only gives and gives and never complains about anything. It makes you want to give him something back, be the best friend you could possibly be and you don't even cringe at how girly that is.
It makes you want to smile like you've forgotten how to stop.
* * *
Somewhere in between, it gets complicated.
It turns into touches that linger too long to be completely innocent. You catch yourself watching Jared longer than exactly necessary, concentrating on how his lips move, his dimples appear whenever he lets loose one of his too loud laughs. You start leaning closer whenever he speaks, smelling the scent that is so completely Jared that you would notice it everywhere.
Sometimes you wake up to crumpled sheets, wet spots, your heavy breathing that tries to get air into lungs that suddenly seem too big for your chest.
Most of the time, you curse how fucking gay you became for Jared.
* * *
In the beginning, it is overwhelming.
It's Jared not only giving you all of him, but suddenly demanding all of you back, so different from the easy give and take your friendship was about. It's constant heatneedwant, all wrapped up in Jared's hands holding you down, tearing you open in all the wrong places and putting you back together better than you ever were before.
Sometimes it makes you want to scream.
* * *
In the end, it's easy.
It's easy laughter and carefree chatter, whole afternoons spent on the couch, sometimes just kissing and sometimes just talking, but always touching.
It's the easiest relationship you've ever been in. Jared makes you want to give all of yourself to him without demanding anything back, just as long as he's in your space and taking up all the air you need to breathe.
Jared still doesn't seem to know the word silence.
Now it just makes you smile like you've forgotten how to stop.
- - -
Ich lebe für Kommis ;)
