Ancient Angel
Just as I suspected- Ebi RobertThis dim-layer that suddenly brightened-bright
Inspecting the night
Advertising stars in such a mid-day
Dozing as if descending
With wisp watching whispers
Whispering the wings of their clippers
Drew a bridge of white sings
A thunder stroke
And visiting was the pillars of rain
Running these races of angel brain
The visit was to earth
Seeking the men of earth
The dim-night clouding the ground
Was overshadowed by rhymes
These rhymes rusting
Born of acrostic
Tortured the sky sounding
To my greatest surprise
They were singing.
____________
The moment you realize that your whole life was just making fun of you, it not really awesome, right?
Problems about your missing breakfast or stunning cars are not longer important, when you have actually this really, really big problem in front of you.
Eyes were burned out from a mysterious creature high above humans heads, without noticing them at all - but they were there, all the time.
The only question was: Did they protect us from evil? Or are they the Evil itself?
Lucifer was an angel, fallen from heaven, which is not really a place made for chubby angels like Cubit, or?
From childhood on, the only real big obstacle was the missing mother, but this story is well known, since Sammy got old enough to realize that Death means death.
However, the real issue was the angel, who is now standing in this barn, while Bobby is making a face like a thundercloud, pulling out the knife.
The other man, who stood beside him, was just blinking, not really realizing what this creature was in front of him. Maybe it was a demon, a werewolf - no this can't be true - or maybe just an evil spirit, that came out from dark ages.
"What the-..."
Green eyes were staring on the silly looking trench coat, that belonged to a messy brown-hair looking guy with this confusing look in his face.
"Take the holy water!", Bobby was whispering to the side of the Winchester, while the younger man was just staring at the approaching enemy - to put it mildly was the right phrase - , his blade in the right hand, moving forwards like a puppet.
The next moment came really fast, too fast for Deans senses, because the real problem just started to collapse. Bobby tried to put the blade into the back of the newcomer, who was only interested in Dean. Seemed so, at first.
But when Bobby pushed the blade into the enemies back, the thing turned back, raised a hand and the old man shut his eyes, while his body collapsed to the ground.
The green eyed man barely stared to Bobby, like this was nothing special, but it clearly was some magic behind the touch on the forehead.
Dean did not know how long he was just staring at the creature before him, while the other looked back in the same interest, so it seemed to the Winchester.
His body stood still, no muscle was moving, only his lips parted often enough to wet his dried lips more than one time.
It took him a long time to open his mouth for the right question, but when he made his, his body stiffed once more.
"Who are you...?", was Deans question, sharp and with a tone, he did not know that he just said that in that manner.
"I am the one, who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."
There was this unmanageable silence again.
"What are-..."
"An Angel.", was the abrupt answer to his really big problem concerning the intruder. Ok he wasn't really an intruder, because he summoned the thing. The angel.
Wait, an angel?
"Angels do not exist.", spoke Dean loud enough out to make sure his voice wasn't broken because of the awkward silence between them, after the thing told him, what he was.
The angel-thing-what-ever-it-is-called turned away from Dean, looked back to the lying man on the ground, when he moved back to his discussion partner and lifted his head a bit higher than expected.
Dean spotted the stiffness in his body once more, because the angel did certainly something to him, maybe only with his presence. Can angels do this? What is his motive here? What happened to Bobby?
So much questions were floating around in Deans head, while his grip around the blade got intensified. He did not want to attack the angel being, since he saw what happened to Bobby, but what should he do? Just stay here and look like a blockhead?
"Why are you so faithless, Dean? I thought your resurrection was enough to make you believe in yourself."
The angel came closer, too close for Deans sake, but the only thing the Winchester did, was to look at the thing before him, with this silly look on his face, head tilled a bit and the eyelids were a bit closing.
Again there were so much questions, but the main question was: Why the heck did he knew his name?
"My name is Castiel, by the way.", were the last words from the angel, while Dean just forgot how to breath and this silence after hearing his name was irresponsible, even for him.
The name of this angel gave him the chills and it was even more worse when the blue and green eyes of those two met.
Dean just forgot what he wanted to do.
However, this was the encounter with Castiel, the curious angel of the Lord.
And the time Dean realized that this angel will bring a lot of confusion to the older Winchester brother.
Remorse
2 Weeks later since the Winchester brother discovered that angels existed:
Since when was Dean in suspicion of being gazed at?
Maybe when he used to go to some bars, including hot ladies, who were turning their ass to him. Well, this happened just a few days ago, but now he was just unlucky that the companion of his brother and himself was unaware of the normal behavior during eating his lunch.
"Castiel-... can you please stare to someone else.", was the normal reaction of Dean, while gazing upon his sandwich in his hands.
He heard a chuckle from his brother Sam, who sat beside him, eating his usual salad with some dry bread. How the hell can this enormous creature eat something for ruminants?
"I am not staring, Dean."
The asked person lifted his head, peered to the trench coat angel while he cleared his throat, besides he laid his sandwich on the dish.
A suspicious silence came forward when Dean pointed a finger to Castiel, who's face changed within few seconds.
"Lemme explain something to you: First, there is no staring in public - not even when I got something on my face, kay? Second, if you want to behave like a human, then eat something. Every time when we get to a bar or a saloon, you are the one who's not eating anything. This is frustrating!", declared Dean while pointing a finger at Castiel, who turned his eyelids a bit down, like he needs a pair of glasses.
"But I don't need to eat. I don't feel hunger nor need to go to toilet like you humans."
The older Winchester just sighed by the attempt to include Castiel in their life, but Sam just smiled like a big moose while pierced his lettuce salad through.
"Sammy, you can help me with that douche bag, can you?", was the only sound Dean made when Castiel looked at the brothers, not understanding what the problem may be.
But the only reaction Dean got from his younger brother, was a chuckle and a smile, while he ate his salad.
Dean did not really know why Castiel stood by their side - the angel just supposed that they need protection. But from whom? From demons? Other angels?
He told the angel many times that they did not need his help, but then he just vanished, came some time later with a different look on his face - like the discussions did not happen.
The older brother believed that they are truly the masters in their own life - that they don't need protection or help from others, but they were so mistaken.
The huge problem happened some hours after Dean and Sam went to bed. They were on a case including vampires, but they did not find any evidence that the specific vampire was in this town.
Well, there this problem started.
Dean went to sleep after he closed the journal of his dad, while a half drunken beer stood besides his bed, which he forgot to finish drinking.
But alongside the little imperfection of the older Winchester, he did forgot to call for help from Castiel, who he did anger just a bit. Except he did just say, that the angel got bigger problems to solve, instead of waiting the whole night for any reaction from the brothers. They were sleeping, so they are not concerning about his presence either, but the angel knew that for sure, however he may be a bit overcautious for them.
In this night the unexpected happened:
Dean was so full in his sleep - like his brother - when he did not was aware of the creature standing in front of their only windows, gasping and sniffing.
The older Winchester brother knew this kind maybe from some place in the past, but he did not know that this thing was following their journey way too long.
Long nails crawled to the door, opened it in an instant, with so few sound that this was enormous, especially for this kind of creature. Normally this vampire was so full of force and power, she - yes it was a she - could easily break through the door and surprise them in their sleep.
Maybe the brothers were just too careless about their asses, or the work was too exhausting for both of them, that they may be a bit unwary of the maybe incoming vampire into their motel room they booked.
Small footsteps approached the bed in which Dean slept in, on his back with little snore sounds - when the creature stepped a bit further, sniffing their scent, which she followed on her way here.
The air was so full of their lies, blood and masculine hormones that she went crazy from it, further the bloodlust started to boil inside her veins. The red eyes were inspecting the back of her next victim, which she chose properly.
Dean was inside that club a few days ago, eyeing her style on the pole, giving her the attention she needed, but after she saw him and his weapons, she came to the conclusion that he may be a hunter. And he was one. The pronunciation was the 'was'. This would be his last night on earth.
The vampire moved forward, stretching her long fingers to Deans neck, during her eyes glow red and she heard the blood rushing through his veins. It was so sweet in her ears. She needed to gain his blood, his soul and crush him afterwards. Like his companion, but at first the older, sexier guy was on her list.
And when she was just in contact with her victim, a huge push on her back moved her through the whole room, crashing to the wall and waking - for sure - the whole motel out of their sleep.
It took some time to get her head working again, but then she realized that this human was not standing in front of her before.
No wait... He was no human.
"CAS! WHAT THE HELL!", screamed Dean loudly, gaining control of his sleepy body, while holding a gun to the person standing before him, after Sam did the same thing, completely dozy and lacking in sleep.
"Dean....", began the thing before her only speaking, pointing at her, while she pushed the remaining wall pieces away from her.
"Oh come on... I just wanted to have some fun, Darling.", the dry voice of the vampire came to their ears, while Castiel just stood there, waiting for her moves, but the creature only freed herself from dust.
"What the... You son of a bitch!", stated Dean sharply, standing now by Castiel's side, pointing a gun to the intruder, while he retrieved a machete from Sam behind him.
"Dean's your name? What a wonderful name...", whispered the vampire in front of them, coming closer, so that Dean just reacted, pressed the gun into Sam's hand and pushed the same hand on Castiel's chest, shifting him back.
The angel looked confused, more than often enough, because he did not know what the other had in mind.
But Dean knew all along that this was his turn, because not only was this bitch an intruder in his four walls when he was sleeping, but also this vampire was the stripper from the bar he was in few days ago. And this was silly enough to tell the other two, so he just wanted to end this game, as fast as possible. There would be only awkward questions from Castiel - and maybe from Sam why he let a vampire live, but he did not even know that this was an vampire.
Dean just reacted when the vampire jumped forward, screaming and stretching her nails, aiming at his throat. He pressed his hand into the long hair of the vampire, pushed her head against the floor and gave enough pressure to the knife in his hand, that he shoved the machete with the help of Castiel into her neck, beheaded her in an instant.
The older Winchester brother was long enough on the ground to regain his breath, slowing his pulse.
How the hell did he not know that she was an vampire?
He saw her body long enough at the stripper bar, her look - but maybe she was too good. And he? He was too bad, too awful.
"Dean?"
He heard the voice of his brother beside him, so that he stood up, looked down on his bloodshed clothes and sighed.
"I need a change,.. and then we need to change the motel...", was the only words escaping his mouth, ignoring the look in the angels eyes, that where observing his every step when he let the vampire head and the body just lay on the floor and he slipped out of his shirt, turning his back on Sam and Castiel. He did not even see the interrogative eye exchange of those two, because he knew that he really fucked up this time.
Dean did not knew if the sad gaze from Castiel was even bad as the thought of bringing Sammy in danger.
Heart without a beat
"If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it.
If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim."
Richard Bach
"Dean."
Blue eyes were staring at his right side, while this serious voice was talking to him.
It took a moment to get the awkward feeling that he was not alone here, well, he was never alone since the moment they went out of the motel - Sammy included.
"What...is it Cas?"
Dean sighed a bit, leaning back in his seat, staring at the street in front of him, which was glittering in the rain, that was following the Impala since some hours.
He drove the long way until now in an absence that was unforgivable, but he had no time up until now to think about what he did in the motel and in the bar before, meeting the vampire.
Sammy was asleep in the back, completely worn out from the days without sleeping, or maybe because they left in the night so he did not get any beauty sleep.
However, on his right side there was Castiel, looking awful like always, but his voice was just so bitter in his ears, that the older brother gained a look to his face.
"You need some rest.", was the answer from the angel at his side, while Dean made a face like he heard something wrong - and he definitely did.
"Sorry to hear that, but we're in the middle of nowhere and there is no motel - and I don't want to let you drive. So just look out of the window and shut up.", murmured Dean after he gained a yawn out of his mouth.
Cas seemed to understand the situation they were in, because he moved in his seat, looked out of the window and followed the rain drops on the glass.
There was a pause of almost an hour, when the rain went heavier, so that Dean turned his windshield wiper on a higher level, while sighing.
"Have you ever seen heaven, Dean?"
The older brother looked confused to Cas, who looked again outside the window, maybe thinking where they are going. He could fly, but he stayed at their side.
"How the hell should I've been up there? My place is in hell, y'know.", responded Dean in a low voice, like he did want to know how is it up there, but he will not know. Never.
"Why hell? I have saved you from there. You may now become a part of heaven.", was the reaction from the angel, who made his typical 'i-dont-understand' face, which gave Dean a soft smile.
This was the normal response from Cas - he did not want anything other than this typical response, because otherwise this wouldn't be Castiel.
They knew each other only for a short amount of time, but Dean was sure that after he got his ass out of hell, Cas was not a stranger. No, not at all. And this was total weird, because whom would you trust more than your own brother? Well, that didn't mean that Dean trusted Cas more than Sammy, not never.
2 Weeks. They knew each other only two damn weeks and now Cas seemed to be attached on Dean a little bit more than he expected.
"Dude... I am not going to heaven. And you know that good enough. Sammy's going up there, with you. But not know.. We've got business to do here."
He heard Castiel sigh, which was interesting through, because he never let some human noises out of his mouth. Well, he was angel, indeed. But Dean thought that Cas was long enough on earth, but he may be wrong.
"Hey... How.. How long are you 'watching over us' - like you said after you introduced yourself by hitting Bobby.", asked Dean after a while, so that he got enough time to think about a good question.
Green eyes stared on the car dashboard. Only 1/4 of gas. Damn.
"Since your birth."
"What?"
Dean stared to Cas, ignored the road before him, so he pulled the car a bit too much, causing Sam to wake up.
"What the.. hell.. Dean?", he heard his brother in the back, grunting and angry, while Sam scratched his head in a manner like he is an ape. A moose fitted him better.
"For... so long? That's over... over 20 years. Wow..."
Dean did not know what to say, realizing the confused look behind his back from Sam, who wanted to gain some information out of the discussion the two led.
"It's not long Dean. 20 years are nothing for an angel like me. You can think in comparison of a snail crawling about 1 meter. For the animal it would be a ridiculous long way to accomplish its goal. But for us: We see it, but we have not part in its way, we might believe that its unnecessary thinking."
"That's... That's illogical.", snorted Sam in the back, pushing his head between Dean and Cas, passing a drink in his hand to his older brother, who took it with pleasure and a small nod, while driving along the road in front of them.
"That means for you, our lives are nonsense because you will not remember a damn thing in about 1000 years, am I right?", articulated Dean with the drink in his hand, peering to Cas, who just looked caught.
"No."
"What no?"
"Your reminders are forever in my heart. The happenings with you, the whole...", Cas recited the next words with his fingers in the air: "human stuff, and of course the friendship with you."
Cas words seemed legit, but they turned something in Deans stomach around.
"That was nice Cas.", Sam murmured behind them, grinning like a child who got a new toy to play, instead he was just happy to hear that.
"Nonsense."
Dean babbled this word out of nowhere, if it was deep inside of him, waiting to answer such a silly argument.
He heard the voice of Sam asking what the problem was.
"He popped up a few weeks ago, gripped me and took me out of hell. Well - thanks for that, but I did not ask you for an invitati-..."
"Dean! Cas just wants..", Sam started, interrupted Dean himself, but then Dean cut his brother off with a wave, after he deposited the drink.
"No! I don't want to hear any of this shit Sammy. This is serious! He just came here, helped us in some stuff and now he thinks that we are FRIENDS?!"
A short and afflicted laugh came from Deans lips.
"I just know that the stuff about 'watching over us' is creepy and I don't see him as a friend who just come when he is pleased, so don't tell me that you are here in order to gain friends while you know nothing from us - NOTHING. Because this is the worst way of being such a 'friend', Castiel.", growled Dean, while staring in front of the road, hearing a 'Swooosh' after his hard words, causing Cas to disappear.
There was a silence again, but then he heard Sam pressing his back into the seat, sighing.
"Dean... What was that for?"
The older brother saw the sign of a town in front of them: Sioux Falls.
Dean knew that he aggressively offended Cas in a way, so that the angel would never visit them again, never.
"Don't ya tell me that you are befriended with him, only because he helped out two times or something. He is a goddamn angel and he is not supposed to be here. And don't give me that look Sammy. That's not gonna workin'.", heavy sighed Dean while driving into the town, gaining an overview and parking the Impala in front of a randomly chosen motel.
They checked in - usually with fake IDs - and when Dean went to their room, he heard his brother say something, so he was curious about it.
"Maybe Castiel only needs someone to be befriended with. A human being. Us. He risked his life to get you out of hell, and this is how you thank him. Wait-... Did.. Did you thank him even once?", asked Sam, eyeing his brother while they stood in front of their motel room door.
Dean reminded himself of being a total asshole to Cas since they met, and since that day he did not say something nice to him. Never. But Cas stood beside them, helping them.
"No."
With this words Dean passed through the door frame, crashed the bag on the desk and slipped out of his shoes, throwing them into a corner of the room, ignoring the completely surprised look on Sam's face.
Restless
Dean slept like shit in a bag.
His sleeps were like hell and when his eyes shut open due to this specific sleeping problem, which he wanted to ignore, he cursed his awkward brain.
The older Winchester pressed a hand on his forehead, sighed and rose his upper body, while gaining a look to his sleeping brother.
What the hell was wrong with him? Was it because of Cas?
No, never. He never did have any bad dreams since he came out of hell. There were some memories regarding his doings down there, but he mostly avoided them because of Sammy. He didn't want to confront his younger brother with such problems.
"Hell...", Dean murmured, put a foot out of the bed, yawned like a silent baby and got his leftover clothes on, took his mobile phone with him, as he walked outside of the motel room, locked the door to be sure that Sammy will not be awake from some freak.
His steps took him to the Impala, where he boarded it, put the lights on and drove back to the main road in Sioux Falls.
Dean was not really sleepy - he could stay up some nights and then he could fall asleep the moment after, but tonight there was something not right. He got stomach ache and his mouth was thirsty, while his throat was dry like the Sahara.
After some time he got to an old bar, went inside it and gained a good place right at the waiter at the bar, who came to him after his other customer left.
There were not many people inside of the bar, mostly were men, other pairs and some old idiots. They were here for sure every goddamn night - like Dean, if he could. But he got something else to do.
Dean received some time later a drink, pure alcohol, which was not long enough in its glass.
However, he ordered again more and more from this sort, leaning with his arms on the bar table, looking into the mirror, that was under some alcohol bottles, pointing at the guests, like Dean.
His green eyes saw himself, analyzing each and every motion in his face, but the older Winchester realized that he was sad. He was not really tired, but he was sad.
In the next moment he ordered another drink, gained a look at the waiter who did not know if Dean got enough - other guys would fall out of their chair with so much alcohol in their veins, but Dean seemed to be hard and tough enough to get another drink.
He did not know how long he was there, sitting and waiting for any improvement with his unsteady sleeps, but it seemed that he was here for nothing. For what did he wait? For a light in his brain? Any movement from Cas?
"Cas?"
Was the only thing he could get out of his mouth, while staring directly in the face of the angel, who just reappeared into the seat next to him.
Did he just thought about him and the other came right after his brain finished the sentence? Or was this a coincidence?
"What ar-..."
"I am not here for you, Dean.", Cas answered in such a voice, Dean did not recognize the sound in his sayings at first.
"B-But...", began Dean, got again interrupted from the trench coat angel besides him, who looked at the amount of glasses Dean emptied and sighed.
After Dean realized that he was staring at him, he averted his eyes, shook his head a bit and took again a great swallow of his swill.
"You are right with what you said in the Impala.", Cas began, tipping with one finger against an empty glass, shoving it to himself and smelling.
Dean chuckled by the new view of the angel smelling the hard stuff in the glass, because Cas just pushed it away with an awkward expression and a wrinkled nose.
"Did you track me down here?", was the only question from Deans side, while drinking and turning the alcohol in his hand.
He knew the look on Castiel's face when he asked that question, but he waited for an answer.
"I was always there, but you can't see me with my angel form. I followed you since you got into the car and left Sam in the motel.", tried Cas to explain, but Dean just raised a hand, got the attention of the waiter, whom he paid the drinks and stood up from the chair, causing Cas to look confused again.
Dean left the bar, felt the companion back on his side, so he stood still at the Impala, waiting for any question or reaction, but they never followed.
He turned back to the angel, who just stood there, like he, waiting for something to come.
The older brother did not know what to say, so he pressed a hand against his forehead, sighed again.
"When you are not here for me, then what are you here for?", asked Dean in a stronger tone, looking Cas straight into the blue eyes, that were in some way mesmerizing him.
He did not know that angel eyes could do such things, or it was only his imagination, because suddenly Castiel averted the eye contact and glanced to Deans car.
"It was a lie. I came here for you, Dean."
"Since when are angels allowed to lie to humans?", asked Dean in a hard manner, raising his left eyebrow and noticed the sad look on Castiels face.
"Dean..."
The addressed person looked confused and subsequently he knew that something was odd with Castiel.
"I told you, that you are right with what you said in the car about me and friendship. I admire your honesty in this sort of things. Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters, Dean."
"Sorry this is too complicated for me now Cas,... I drank too much to argue with you about matters and non matters, or whatever you are talking.", nagged Dean back and approached to his Impala, tried to open the door but he failed at that small thing.
"I don't know if you should drive... Let me get you back to the ho-..", began Cas, came to Dean and tried to put a hand on Deans shoulder, but the Winchester blocked it, snorted back: "Last time you teleported me,...was not really awesome. So I am taking the car, dude.", was the answer from Dean, grinning like a pancake and tried to get away from Castiel, but he felt a hand on his shoulder - on the print Castiel gave him, after he got him out of hell.
Dean wanted to argue with him, but in the next moment he stood in some wood near a lake, getting more and more confused.
"THE HELL! DID YOU JUST ZAP ME?! CAS!!", roared Dean and turned around and around, after he put a hand on his stomach and the other on a tree, dropping his head and groaning.
"You won't hear to me unless I bring you to a safe place, where you can't drive with your car, or I need to get you somewhere out again - and you won't let me, I assume."
Dean heard the voice too near for him to be real, but the next moment he felt Castiels hand on his head, a burning sensation and his sickness was gone.
"Dude... Never, never, never ever do that again without my permission. Do you understand?", threatened Dean the angel and moved back, so that he could look where he teleport them anyway.
"Sorry, but it was necessary. I know you are not on friendly terms with me Dean, but I assume you, that my will to start being a 'friend' to you, will start from today, only if you let me show you, that I will be of use for you both.", murmured Cas, his hands arguing with his speech, which looked so damn silly, but Dean only gave a chuckle, turned his head and scratching his head.
"I know already that you have this angel mojo in you, for healing and such things,...", Dean murmured, sat down on a tree stump and pounded near him, in a manner that Castiel need to take a seat, which he did seconds after.
Both of them were sitting like a old couple after a stormy argument together, Dean hearing the angel out, and backwards.
"... but I don't really know you. You see,... there are people in life, which you want just to die on their spot - and there are people who are really awesome and cool, but you need some time to fully understand to which part they belong."
"Does that mean you wanted me at first to...", Cas started again to recite the next words with his fingers in the sky: "...'die on the spot'?"
Dean laughed a bit, nodded and pressed a hand to Castiels right shoulder, pounding him there in a friendly manner.
"Well you came in like a wrecking ball. How would you react to someone who is immune to knifes, exorcism spells, holy water and salt?", asked Dean him, wallow a bit on the day that whole angel-thing started.
"I would ask them what they are. And when I would hear, that they are angel, I would love to drink a tea with them.", was the pure answer from Cas, which gave Dean the ultimate laugh since days.
"Damnit.. Cas... You can't...haha... You can't give them a tea and believe that this is what they are."
"Why?"
"Because people lie. You just lied back there and there are people who lie every day and in every situation. They are called politicians.", grinned Dean and removed his hand on his shoulder, giving it on his own knee, staring before him.
Cas started to gain again lead of the discussion they led:
"But I lied to you in order to get your whole curiosity to me. When I told you, that I was here for you and to talk - you would have turn me down and I would not have had the chance of making our..."
"Special circumstance?"
"Yeah... special circumstance better.", Cas finished and smiled back to Dean, who just looked at him as if he understood the place the angel stood.
It was complicated, but he would really turn him down and threaten him like a killer - not to come back and other cruel things. But he did not do that, just because he was curious about the angel and his information he might had, maybe something about Sam.
"Is it too complicated for you Dean?"
"What? Why?"
"The alcohol is still in your blood. It seemed that you wanted to get drunk on purpose. So I did not filter any of the alcohol out of your blood while healing your sickness from teleporting."
"Yeah... The drinking was on me. I needed some time on my own..."
"You can have that. I can zap you back to the motel and-..."
"No.", murmured Dean and blocked a hand to Cas chest, when he wanted to stand up and teleport them two back.
Dean did now know how to deal with the information he just got.
This was truly not that, what he hast first in mind, when Cas zapped him here. The angel lied to him, so he may have learned something from humans, but it seemed that Castiel still wanted to be their friend, their partner in investigating supernatural beings.
He was so in thoughts, he did not even know how long they sat here, without talking and Cas just staring at him, like he was counting something in his face. Freckles maybe? No, never. Cas couldn't just count his damn freckles. Could he?
Dean peered to Cas, who did not end his counting - he still moved forward.
"What... are you doing Cas?"
"Waiting for an approval or a denial from you."
He waited for what?
"For... the hunting things with Sammy and with me? And the friendship?", he asked, eyeing Castiel and immediately as the angel nods, a soft chuckle escaped from Deans lips.
"We can launch a trial period for you, if you insist of being with us and hunting demons or other things. How's that for you?", the older Winchester asked him, standing up and waiting for any reaction, which followed after some time of thinking from Castiel.
"Yes, I would like to.", Castiel smiled, stood up and moved a bit closer to Dean, but the other did not mention that, so he put a hand on Cas' shoulder, nodding for approval.
"But you should not spoil it, okay? Because then you need to comb Sammy's hair and have a pajama party with him. That is torture dude.", grinned Dean, because he knew that would be the pure frustration to Sam too.
"Why would that be a torture?"
After Dean heard those words, he started to laugh again, louder and more genuine than ever before, pressing a hand to his stomach and the other hand still on Castiels shoulder.
Dean knew that he did this whole Castiel thing for their lives, because Castiel will be there to heal them, to give them the perfect mojo and then they will be undefeatable. And also it was too much fun to tease Cas a bit, just because he did not know anything about the real mocking pleasure of Dean.
And maybe Dean would sleep now better, but that stood in the stars.
Frienship
Some words wandered in his mind, brought his senses back to a normal state. But sometimes when Dean woke up in the morning after some beers or hard alcohol, he didn't know what he did last night. But today... today he knew well enough what happened.
Maybe sometimes you just know when to give up - to never speak it out loud is fair enough, but Dean knew what he was thinking by talking with Castiel.
The angel zapped him away from the bar, but he stood now in good terms with the blue eyed man. Maybe even better, because he just recalled the last words when Castiel teleported him back to the motel and vanished again.
"You just need some trust, Dean. I am not the one to harm you. Not since I lay a hand on you in hell.. Maybe you just misunderstood my intentions to help you, but I promise that I will be on your side, as long as you'll need me."
A small grin enlightened Deans face, with the faced reality that he just accepted the little Angel with his fuzzy brown hair and the ocean-blue eyes.
Hell, did he just described him like the typical angel? Or was it just his imagination?
Well, maybe he do need some rest from the hunting after all, but he did not really want to disturb his own thoughts just because he remembered the last words Cas was saying before he disappeared.
The brown haired man washed his face, dried it and then made the bathroom free for Sam, who just came in after a jogging run.
Maybe he just needed some time for himself, but he knew that this feeling won't vanish, just by ignoring it. Castiel was from now on a friend, maybe called "angel friend", but he was there when he needed him, came to him when he called and.... no. He was there. Every damn time.
But...
Some days elapsed while the Winchester brothers were hunting and ended up at Bobbys house.
Dean assured his younger brother that Castiel was just not by their side because of his angel business, but if Dean would be much more honest with himself, he knew that Castiel was not here because of something different.
He did not say anything funny or absurd to the angel in those few days: When he would be straightforwardly with himself, the angel did not show his ass since the night when he told the older Winchester, that he would be there for him.
Where the heck was he then? Hm? Watching over his soul in heaven? Not answering his calls?
He did call a few times, but Castiel did not answer. He just... He just ignored him, right?
His fist clenched the beer bottle in his hand, inevitably to give it free.
"Dean..? You okay my son?", he heard the voice of Bobby, wondering what was wrong about the man, when he just pressed his fingers deep into the glass. Sometimes Bobby did not really understand the two brothers, but he tried not to get too involved with their feelings, because he knew - after John died - that especially Dean was more vulnerable.
"It's... okay. Sorry."
Dean turned his head over to the windows, gazed upon the rain and sighed after some time, while he heard that Sam and Bobby leaved the room. Maybe he did really miss the angel.
After he just thought that, Dean stared at the bottle in his hand, shook the head and went to sleep. Maybe this was the best thing he could actually do, because his imagination would only play a trick on him. Therefore, sleeping was the best solution to all kinds of problems. And alcohol.
__________________________________
"W-Wait! What?! You are going alone? D-Dean! That's too risky! Especially for you!", babbled Sam straight and shook his head, but the next cough caught him.
Oh, how should he explain the ill Sam in the bed and a consoling Bobby beside him?
How about to say that Sam caught some bad cold while working on the last case with Bobby and Dean? Yeah, that would it be.
"Oh come on... If you could hear yourself Sammy... This is just a normal case. I am sure there is nothing like...how'd ya spell it?", asked Dean and looked patient to the two men.
"Rawhead.", Bobby and Sam spoke synchronic.
"Well, thank you. But this will be easy. Just some electronic thing and the monster will shut its cake hole.", Dean laughed and packed his pack, took a taser with him and put his leather jacket on, while noticing that Sam pressed his hand against his head.
"Don't be such a baby Sam. You are in good hands, right Bobby? - So just make me some pie when I come home. Maximum of two days. So, see ya!"
With those words the older Winchester leaved the room and let the two man in Bobbys house alone. Hey, this will be some tiny case, since its only a damn Rawhead. He will be for sure back in one day, not two. But hey, that would be a little secret, right?
On his way to the town the Rawhead was still alive due some special circumstances - ok the last hunter who was there did miss the fun of killing this beast, in fact, the hunter probably died - because Dean did not really became any information regarding this case.
Just the local police news spread some words about some spooky thing in this town - and sometimes they are really in good mood when giving out such details. Dean described his best case scenario like that:
Arriving into town, gaining some beer and then chilling for a few hours. After some time driving to the spooky abandonment house at the end of the Howlingstreet he would just get his taser and fizz this thing alive.
But, well. However, this wouldn't be too easy, especially for him. Maybe because he thought that he could deal it completely alone.
The moment he arrived into town, his fate changed and therefore the next few steps, that Dean wanted to gain so properly.
After he checked into the motel, drank two bottles of some beer and chilled one hour, then he dressed himself, drove to the old house at the end of the street and got out of the car.
His eyes went over to the front door, locked - of course. Well, this wasn't really a big problem, since he got enough tools to open the damn door - and he did it without problems.
"Nah,... what do we got here?", murmured Dean not very loud to himself while gaining footsteps forward, looking around with the torch in his hand and the taser in the other.
It was too dark, too still and mostly it was too wet here in this house. Did some old water pipe broke? Or was it his imagination, because sometimes he thought that someone was behind him, but as he turned back - there was nothing.
Dean went forward, looking at some old pictures with creepy faces, as he heard a loud 'thud' noise coming from the bedroom. He pressed the taser in his hand, entangled the torch in the other as he moved again. This job will be done soon, so he could make it out of town by tomorrow morning. Well, this was his plan.
But plans didn't go for once normal as he wanted them to.
The problem was just a big, enormous Rawhead out of the blue, throwing the hunter across the room by kicking him like a sandbag. Dean groaned as he got himself on his feet, checking the creature on the other side of the room. "Oh fuck... There you are..", he murmured, gripped a book and threw it at him, while jumped forward on the back of the couch. He knew that thing would just vanish again, and so he did, or it did - depends - but when Dean realized that he needed to go to the Rawhead, he moved forward, activated the taser and bawled into the next room, provoking the monster. "Where are you, you shitface? Come out!", he shouted out of his lungs, got to the living room and lighted the room with his torch. He knew the monster was just another hunt, a simple hunt, but he was alone. And he didn't want to make any mistakes regarding his hunter instincts.
"Where the fuck are you...", he whispered low, wondering where the hell this damn thing is now. He couldn't probably teleport himself away, no, he wasn't a demon or an angel. He was just an ordinary monster with a bad costume taste.
He saw the monster coming out from the neighbor room, covered in dust, while groaning like hell. Dean didn't know that this creature was going to make a sound like that, but it was definitely creepy enough to freak him out. The hunter saw the Rawhead coming to him and he moved back a bit, just to provoke the monster and it seemed that it'll work. Dean grinned internal, waited that the monster came closer and closer, as he jumped forward. He pulled the taser out and wanted to electrocute the thing, but he couldn't move ahead. Someone grabbed him from behind, hold his left arm and threw Dean across the room - like before.
It took a moment to realize that a second fucking monster was behind his back, acting strangely enough to be the Alpha here. Since when are Rawheads in group? What the fuck is happening here?
He coughed a bit, wanted to gain some distance to the two monsters, but it worked merely. He saw the two Rawheads coming to him, groaning and moaning. It seemed that he wasn't welcomed here. Well, fuck.
A curious pain evolved in his right arm, but he tried to ignore it, so he stood up, gave the two monsters a wrecked smile and noticed that the taser, he got with himself, was gone. He looked panicked around his position, but he knew that he was literally fucked. And not for once. Twice.
"Oh shit... Hey.. It wasn't... haha... I didn't mean to...kill you guys..", Dean tried the other method, by excusing for his actions that he made. But it didn't seem to get into the monsters head.
As for the moment, the two moved closer to him and Dean was in an dead end, pressing himself against the wall, looking for a way out, but there was none.
He saw the two moving closer and closer and all he was thinking was just crazy shit. Like that he couldn't go through both of them by just kicking one against the next bookshelf. He knew that wouldn't work, but what should he do?
Dean remembered himself of Castiels last words, his sad smile and the fact that he called him something bad when they were in the car and Cas just vanished, like always when the situation got worse between them. Cas... The man he thanked a lot. But he wasn't gonna mention that, wasn't he?
Like a bolt out of the blue the two monsters grew brighter than the sun. Dean just stared at them, unbelievable thinking crossed his mind as the two Rawheads dropped to their knees and crashed on the left and right side next to Dean.
The hunter stared to the two dead monsters, realizing that they were really, really dead. How the actual...
"You shouldn't be there alone, Dean."
The mentioned man looked up, saw the typical trenchcoat from Castiel and his sad look on his face.
He was there. He was...
"Cas....", he sighed and got himself to smile relieved as he knew that Castiel just saved his life. Not once, but twice.
"Hey, dude...", began Dean and wanted to get himself up, but he saw the hand from the angel, offering the help he needed. And he grabbed it, let himself drag out of his misery like he did in hell.
Cas just pulled him up from the ground, gazed a look upon his factual broken arm. Dean didn't know how to say anything to Cas, but he gave him a sad smile, as the angel pulled him closer and put a hand on his right arm, right where the broken bone was.
He felt some old memories flushing through his mind, as he felt the heat coming from the healing procedure of Castiel. He knew that there was his handprint, the mark he left, when he pulled the hunter out of hell.
"Are you okay?", he heard Castiels voice after the treatment of his right arm, where his broken bone was fixed and his mind was suddenly not really in the right place. Dean knew that he need to thank him, to say to him, that he wasn't sure to react to his presence. But he didn't say anything, just nodded because of the question and was teleported right to the motel he was staying.
"How were you able to find me? I didn't pray to you, Cas..", Dean sighed and opened the door to his motel room, let Castiel in, and locked the door to be sure.
"I was watching you for days. Just in case something happens to you. And since you decided to do this case on your own, Sam prayed for me and I just followed you."
Dean watched as Castiel sat himself without any further asking on Deans bed and folded his fingers together while staring to Dean whose face was just blank as the wall. He followed him, because Sam prayed for his brother?
"And why the fuck weren't you answering my calls? But Sams?!"
Dean wasn't happy about this, no, he clearly wasn't. Why the hell was Cas answering his brothers calls and his were just... nonsense?
"Dean. I got my reasons.", was the only answer the angel spoke out loud and Dean thought that he heard something wrong.
Just now, he thought the angel was messing with his sense of humor, but this was not funny. It was bullshit.
"Just go...", murmured Dean, opening his sweater while ignoring the fact that Castiel had saved his life the second time.
"Dean.."
He heard his name, but it was painful, too painful to just admit truth that Castiel was there for him, when he really, really needed him. But this matter was just banned from his mind.
"I won't say it a second time.", the hunter whispered and stripped himself from his shoes while walking to the bathroom. He knew he saw the sad and questionable look on Castiels face as he vanished and left nothing back but a simple word: "Sorry."
