To Force a Hand   von Cuilwen
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                    Kapitel 6: Welcome to Ultron Airlines!
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“I don’t need to see a doctor,” Pietro said. These words were spoken in a
deliberately slow voice as if they were addressed to a very small and, possibly,
very stupid child.
 
So, naturally, I decided to ignore Pietro’s annoyance and continued to pester
him.
 
“Hey, you were the one who decided that eating dubious, possibly decades old
candy that a drug-lord, human trafficker and advocate of questionable hygiene
offered you, apparently was an excellent idea. So, I beg to differ, but you
indeed do need a tetanus shot.”
 
“I don’t need –“
 
“I’m pretty sure you do!”
 
“You both are behaving like 5-year-olds,” Wanda interrupted our little
banter. Both Pietro and I looked over to her to see that she was giving us quite
the pointed look, her lips pressed in a line so tight that it might have cut
paper.
Professor McGonagall would have been proud.
 
“Sorry,” Pietro and I muttered in unison and went back to our respective
seats, waiting as we’d done before.
 
This had been the fifth time now that Pietro and I had begun arguing and the
fifth time that the injured and migraine-stricken Wanda had broken off the
budding argument.
 
The air simply was too tense to sit still for too long, especially if one had a
revenge-seeking, speed-enhanced prat such as Pietro on one end of the argument
and a bionic-robotic mishap that needed neither food nor sleep, yet was a bundle
of nerves anyways, on the other.
 
Ultron really should have known better than to leave us by ourselves for too
long. How long could it possibly take for a highly intelligent killing-machine
to highjack a plane fast and big enough for the next step of his plan, then
learn to fly the blasted thing, load it with weapons, supplies and probably
spare parts that project Ultron undoubtedly had left over after his Ikea-esque
assembling party back in the bunker?
 
Actually, now that I thought of it, I could have used the time to completely
overthrow Ultron’s plan, destroy his equipment and ultimately cripple his
power enough for the Avengers to finish him off in a heart-beat. With the range
of possibilities that I had in this body, I could have contacted them long ago.
 
Instead, I sat here and refused to do anything other than to whine about how
long it took for Ultron’s plan of stealing an aircraft to be implemented. Like
a proper Slytherin!
 
Well, I suppose waiting for the megalomaniacal robot beat his original idea of
getting to Korea the traditional way, hauling the twins along in the process
with the sole help of his clone warriors and without a care in the world whether
they’d make it undamaged and without further traumata.
 
In fact, it had taken over two hours for him to understand why humans weren’t
made for 10.000 feet altitude without proper protection to keep them from
dry-freezing like a pair of overly ripe strawberries, but eventually, Wanda had
stepped in and Ultron had caved.
 
Apparently even a gigantic robot built of titanium and carbon steel didn’t
want to mess with the Scarlet Witch; especially if said witch was in an awfully
sour mood.
 
“How’s the head?” I asked when I finally snapped out of my thoughts. Wanda
groaned in response.
 
“Like I’ve been run through a steel wall.”
 
“Well, if it helps, I’m sure the Avengers don’t feel any better right
now.” Wanda lifted her eyes to meet mine, however did not linger on these
uncomfortably glowing orbs. I didn’t blame her. They still freaked me out,
after all.
 
“What do you mean?” She instead asked, her gaze addressing the floor between
us.
 
“Well, let’s just say that if the presidential pardon for defeating Metal
Man wasn’t still in effect, our Doctor Banner would pretty much be walking the
Green Mile right now...no pun intended,” I added the last part after a short
pause, grimacing as much as this robot’s stiff metal features would allow it.
“Seriously.”
 
The twins sighed in practised unison, something that they did a lot as of late.
It was almost as if they didn’t enjoy my constant puns, jests and awkward
comments!
 
“It doesn’t matter,” Wanda mused after a few minutes of silence.
“What’s done is done and whatever pain Stark is feeling is
well-deserved.”
 
“Is it, though?” I asked. I heard Pietro growl but Wanda lifted up a hand to
stop him from acting out whatever violent reaction he had in mind right now.
 
“Why don’t you tell us? After all, you know so much as you are constantly
eager to prove. You tell us if what Stark did doesn’t justify his punishment
now.”
 
“Well, Tony’s fucked up everything there is to fuck up, really. He
constantly does, and with a certainty that I can’t help but marvel at...again,
pun not intended. His weapons killed countless people, yes. But once he realised
that, and I mean actually realised the damage, he tried his best to make up for
his shortcomings. He doesn’t always succeed and the path to hell might be
mainly made out of his good intentions but for all it’s worth, he never gives
up trying to be a better person. And I have to say, I think that’s enough.”
 
Wanda stood up, her eyes flashing a dangerous red as crates of wood and metal
were pushed away from her.
 
“But I don’t. I do not think it is enough and I do not think you are right
to say that I am fighting for the wrong side, all of the time. Stark is
deserving everything that is coming to him, everything that Ultron still is
planning on throwing at him.”
 
“You can’t trust Ultron! If not because of the fact that he’s clearly
insane then maybe because a big part of his personality is Stark.” 
 
“I admit that I cannot read Ultron, but if his plans cause Stark to suffer,
then I don’t care. I trust him not to kill me. We are too useful for him to
kill, anyways.”
 
I sighed deeply but before I could answer that such trust was easily betrayed, a
very unpleasant feeling started to form at the back of my mind. Ultron was
returning and, therefore, reclaiming full control over our shared body.
 
“Such trust in me? How quaint," he quipped.
 
“Do you need water for that dry tone?” I asked, annoyed at his sudden
presence. Well, I was annoyed because of him existing at all, really.
 
 “I have organised everything you need to survive our trip to Seoul with
minor difficulty. I do admit that I don’t trust these heavy, clumsy machines
you humans need to fly. Far too fragile.”
 
“After you finish helping the twins develop a fear for flying, “I mused,
“Could you maybe inform us about our plan now?”
 
“I believe I already did.” I sighed deeply at the robot’s antics.
 
“The sentence ‘We fly to Korea to make a worthy body’ might be just about
enough for me to understand, and even that just barely, but only because I know
what’s going on...For once, if you think about it. However I believe the
Maximoffs would be grateful for a little more information.”
 
“I will fill them in on the way.”
 
“Great...I suppose. Use little words for Pietro, though. Logic’s not his
strong suit today.”
 
“I resent that!” Pietro complained, yet his voice lacked real offence. The
jab to our prior argument had been well-received, then.
Maybe he’d agree to a Tetanus shot after all.
 
“But I still don’t need to see a doctor,” he interrupted my thoughts.
 
“Actually, as a matter of fact, we are going to see one fairly soon. One of
the best at her field. I am certain she’d be able to prevent you from dying
prematurely of food poisoning.”
 
Pietro threw his hands up into the air in sheer defeat.
 
“Fine! If it gets you to stop agreeing to something, I’ll do it. It is
disturbing!”
 
----------------------------------------------------------
 
An hour later, we found ourselves standing in an old abandoned hangar somewhere
in the middle of nowhere. Truth be told, I hadn’t been paying attention in
which direction we’d headed, so I had no idea just how close we were to the
next sign of civilisation. However the hangar looked old enough to have been
abandoned around the time of the second World War. The wooden parts of the
construction long since had been bleached white from the sun or crumbled
entirely into dust. The only things that really kept the building standing were
the flimsy pieces of metal and corrugated iron, rusty and creaking with every
gust of wind.
 
I doubted that this place would keep standing for very long anymore, yet it
still served its purpose well. Nobody, should they ever come across this place
for whatever reason, would ever expect to find a working airplane inside, much
less a shiny jet. A private jet.
 
“Say, Ultron. Just how did you get that?”
 
“I would appreciate it if you were a tad more precise.”
 
“What do you think I’m talking about? Oh, there’s a fucking private jet
standing in front of us, how nice, but just where did you buy these shoes? WHAT
DO YOU THINK I MEAN? That jet is one of these stupid Gulfstream jets, right?
These things with the waiting list nearly a decade long and only a handful of
working jets on sale? You know; those things with high detection stuff in them
so they’d never get stolen because police would be on the thieves’ asses
within the hour?”
 
“So very nice that you finally use my ability of research for something
useful,” Ultron merely replied. I huffed angrily.
 
“Not the point, metal-brain! I thought we were trying to get to Korea somewhat
undercover. How are we supposed to do that now?”
 
“There is nothing to worry about for I rightfully own the plane.”
 
“Of fucking course, and my name’s Loki.”
 
“That’s lovely.”
 
“If you are quite finished,” Wanda interrupted one of my arguments yet
again, “we should leave soon.”
 
“You are absolutely right; at least one of you understands the significance of
making a timed entrance. I had my other bodies already load the plane with
everything we will need, as well as get rid of everything of the jet’s
interior that we won’t need for the flight, which should reduce the weight and
allow us to travel faster than expected. However, we will change planes once we
have the casket.”
 
“Why don’t we just hide somewhere in Korea? It would save us time,” Pietro
pointed out. Ultron nodded.
 
“We could. However I have sent most of the Vibranium back to the base. Once I
have the casket, I will make use of it once in Korea. Then we will take it back
to the Bunker to replicate it. It is a foolproof plan.”
 
“Famous last words.”
 
“Oh, do shut up,” Ultron sighed before he headed towards the plane, the
twins following close behind.
 
“Oh, I just remembered,” I said, ignoring Ultron’s groan of annoyance.
“Who’s flying?”
 
“Who do you think will fly?”
 
“Well, last time I checked you had no need to learn how to fly an airplane,
being able to fly just fine and whatnot. I’m just asking when exactly you
found the time to learn what all these buttons inside a cockpit do; in between
getting angry at the mention of Tony Stark and whining that –“
 
“Do NOT speak his name,” Ultron snapped with such malevolence in his tone
that the twins flinched back. I sighed.
 
“Proving my point there, but fine. Next to fighting You-Know-Who, when –“
 
“Silence!” Ultron snapped and I yelled out (definitely no pathetic crying
noises involved!) when a particularly nasty surge of electricity coursed through
my mind, the pain strong enough to seep into Ultron’s own consciousness. 
 
“Happy now?” I groaned, wishing that I still had hands to massage my
temples...or that I had temples in the first place.
 
“Not very, but the pain is much more agreeable than your constant nagging.”
 
“Fine...sorry.”
 
“Are you actually apologising? I believe you humans have an idiom for that;
what was it again? That hell froze over or something like that?”
 
I sighed, muttering that he’d better not get used to it. However Ultron did
not answer anymore and instead focused on opening the door to the plane. He
probably had to be careful not to accidentally rip it off its hinges. A plane
without doors made for a poor flight. Pietro was first to enter the private jet,
rushing around like a child at Disney World to see all the little gimmicks that
it had. Wanda followed close behind but simply chose a seat away from a window
and closed her eyes.
 
“Despite my better judgement, I shall leave you with our body yet again.”
 
“Where are you going now?”
 
“Someone has to fly the airplane,” Ultron answered as if it were the most
obvious thing in the world. I hummed in wonder.
 
“Do you, now? Don’t you need, oh I don’t know, hands to steer?”
 
“Don’t be ridiculous. Someone as advanced as me has no need for a physical
body to control such simple mechanics. Merging with its system shall completely
suffice for me to have full control of all functions this plane has.”
 
“So, you’re basically swapping bodies from this humanoid monstrosity to...an
airplane?”
 
“I suppose a simple mind would word it like that, yes.”
 
“Alright then,” I said, mentally shrugging. “Knock yourself out.”
 
“Don’t be ridiculous, I hardly –“
 
“It was a saying; nothing more. It means ‘go ahead’.”
 
“I will never understand humans or their language.”
 
We slowly managed to leave all the bickering behind and finally climb into the
airplane itself. Pietro immediately ran back and forth on the narrow,
yellow-carpeted path like a sugar-crazed child. He probably was having something
in mind with all that movement; however I didn’t bother trying to understand
it. Instead, I pointed Wanda to where the mini-bar was (information that had
been oh so graciously planted into my mind, by Ultron) so she could get herself
a water and try to get rid of her still lingering headache.
 
Ultron meanwhile moved our robotic body into a corner in the passenger room of
the airplane, careful not to bump into anything or accidentally rip a hole into
the narrow ceiling. That probably could have ended quite disastrous, otherwise.
As soon as we were all seated and Ultron was just about to consciously depart
from our shared body, I spoke up again.
 
“So,” I began, ignoring the twinge of electricity that I felt through
Ultron’s annoyance. “How did you learn how to fly a plane? It’s been a
couple of hours. I’d really like to know what I’ll have to prepare myself
for. Did you finish Crash Course One ‘How to Start’ without part 2
‘Staying in the air’ and Number 3 ‘Landing without Dying’? Should I
prepare myself for our untimely and anti-climatic death?”
 
“The only death you have to prepare yourself for is your own, caused by me,”
Ultron replied, charming as ever...
 
“Alright, alright, I get it. No insulting Ultron Airlines; got it.”
 
“And just to shut you up about it: I downloaded it.”
 
“...What?”
 
“I downloaded it; just how I downloaded your language and the information
about Stark in the beginning of everything. You should know, you’ve been
there.”
 
“You went full Matrix on us? WITHOUT ME?”
 
“Certainly. I didn’t want to risk being distracted and ultimately cause our,
how did you put it, ‘untimely death’.”
 
“That’s awesome! Can I do that?!”
 
“I am always amazed how easily you are impressed.”
 
“I’m sorry that I find the idea to simply download languages and skills into
my brain like mods into an RPG –“
 
“Once again, your words are utterly lost on me.”
 
“Never mind that. Can I do that, too, though?”
 
“I do not know. You and I are of one mind. However your thoughts and processes
are very different from mine. You would have to try. Of course there will be
plenty of time for that, once the Avengers are taken care of.”
 
“You mean you’ll let me try once I can’t foil your evil plan anymore.”
 
“Evil scheme, please; but yes.”
 
“You’re an ass.”
 
“So you’ve told me before; do keep up now. I’ll fly the jet to Seoul, you
do your best not to cause any havoc that might crash it. That means, you will
not try to download anything, you will not attempt to control any weapons of
this body and –“
 
“I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there.”
 
“That would be preferable, yes,” Ultron said, completely ignoring yet
another one of my cultural references; one I was quite sure he should have been
able to understand. “Alas, we do not have rooms in this plane and it’ll
suffice for you to behave and not distract me.”
 
“Alright.” A heavy pause followed until I asked: “What?”
 
“It’s just,” Pietro explained. “It’s unusual for you to listen to
him.” I huffed in response.
 
“Well, I’ll hardly disagree now. If it means that I’ll pretty much die,
should I disobey, I guess I’ll cave and do as I’m told.”
 
“She’s so much more agreeable when she’s like that,” Ultron mocked.
 
“Don’t tempt me.”
 
“I’d never.”
 
“Of course you –“
 
“Will you two QUIT it?” Wanda interrupted yet another argument today.
“Then maybe we could prepare to leave this place? I’d like to arrive in
Korea some time this year...also, I don’t know how long this building, hangar,
is going to keep standing.”
 
Her voice was quite tense, her mood obviously having dropped considerably
because of our never-ending bickering and Ultron, apparently agreeing with her
wholeheartedly, decided that this was his cue to prepare for takeoff. His
consciousness left our shared body, instead seeping into the electric wiring and
setting over the programming of the plane like a sheen of oil. As soon as he’d
fully settled into it, the plane came to life.
 
The lights turned on and immediately dimmed again, creating a pleasant, calm and
headache-friendly mood inside the confined space.
 
Signs for ‘no smoking’ and the seatbelt turned on overhead as well, both
things I was surprised to actually see in a private jet. Not that I’ve ever
been in one before. I just would have thought that people generally decided to
do what they wanted in their own plane, smoking included. Oh well, apparently
people had developed a common sense for things like fire hazards in 10.000 feet
altitude.
 
Pietro by now had sat down in the seat behind Wanda’s, giving her two seats
for herself to settle into comfortably and probably try to sleep a bit before
our next mission. He was currently leaning over the back of her seat to look at
her worriedly, both of them talking in their native tongue in hushed, private
voices.
 
Not wanting to be rude (shocking, right?) and try to eavesdrop on a conversation
whose language I didn’t understand anyways, I followed Ultron’s energy
reading and seeped into the airplane’s programming.
 
“What exactly are you doing now?” Ultron’s voice sounded through the
plane’s intercom, causing the twins to violently flinch at the sudden loud
noise.
 
“At least not trying to give the twins an early heart-attack..,” I replied,
preferring to communicate via our shared mind instead of continuing to surround
Wanda with loud noises. Migraines were a bitch I was just too familiar with.
“I was only trying to turn on the TV, maybe put on some news. Something to
maybe calm the Maximoffs down. But seeing as you seem to have forgotten to buy
the TV remote alongside the airplane –“
 
“You didn’t even check,” Ultron interrupted.
 
“Of course I didn’t. Why should I, when I can simply ask you to turn on the
stupid thing? I’m lazy, shoot me...actually, now that I think about whom I’m
talking to...please don’t.”
 
“Will it shut you up for the rest of the flight?”
 
“We haven’t even left the hangar yet!”
 
“Not the point.”
 
“Fine. Just turn on the bloody thing.”
 
“Seeing as it might be the only thing to do something stupid and ultimately
break something important, I’ll turn on your precious news.”
 
Usually, I’d have taken offense at his tone, however I had argued enough for
the day...also, he did have a point. I was the unbeaten Champion when it came to
breaking things on accident.
 
“Fair enough,” I mused and retreated back into the robotic shell. A minute
later, the plane began rolling out of the hangar and the TV turned on.
 

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