Hurt   von Gepo
                           (A realistic Omegaverse)
================================================================================
                           Kapitel 6: Getting moody
                           ------------------------


The Midorima family had a wonderful bathtub. It was a bit deeper than others, a
bit wider and a bit longer. It was made for people around two meters tall. If
Kazu tried to sit in it alone, he went under, so since the first time they had
taken their baths together. With Shin-chan in his arms, he could sit or lie
comfortably and his boyfriend simply loved having him around 24/7. So they often
spent their time in the warm water, Shin-chan lying on his upper body, him
stroking the taut stomach where their daughter grew.
“Better?” He asked when the other was close to dosing off.
“Yeah.” Shin-chan turned lazily, so that he could lie sideways on him.
“Will you tell me if you are unhappy?”
“Promise.” He kissed his very ridiculous boyfriend. If it made him feel
safe, he would promise over and over again to tell him anything. After all, he
knew his boyfriend would never notice dissatisfaction the normal way.
“I asked our coach why he wasn’t more ... well, against this. He told me a
long story.”
“Yeah, I saw you talking. Are you allowed to tell me?” That did interest him
a lot.
“I think so. Do you remember that guy who looked like a playboy that sat next
to coach in one of Seirin’s Winter Cup games? The one he called Tora?”
“They seemed like close friends. Who was that?”
“Aida Kagetora, fast-forward player for the JBL when our coach was an active
player. He seemed to have been very good.” Shin-chan stopped for a moment when
Kazu made a thoughtful noise. “I did not know him as well. He only played for
two years before he quit the team.”
“Was he injured?”
“Not at all.” The other took a deep breath. “He gave birth to his
daughter, Aida Riko.”
“Aida Riko ... wait a minute, isn’t that Seirin’s coach?” Kazu asked in
surprise.
“Yes, it is. This Aida guy seems to have been a very good player but not
exactly a serious person. He went to a lot of parties and one day, he showed up
and told the team and their coach that he was pregnant. That coach reacted with
what I would have expected. He was angry and asked him to abort. Aida refused.
So the coach told him to either abort or quit the team – Aida walked out on
him.”
“Rightly so, that’s a horrible thing to say.” Kazu petted the green hair.
“The manager apologized and tried to get Aida back but he refused again. He
made his own career as a physical trainer for athletes. They tried to make him
coach but he refused that as well.”
“He refused to become coach for the JBL? Wow, he must have been really
good.”
“Our coach told me he did not understand how Aida could be that unrelenting
until he visited him in the hospital. He held little Riko in his arms and knew
that this baby would be dead if it had been anyone but Aida. Because nearly
everyone would have crumbled in front of the coach. Since then they have been
best friends. Our coach is godfather to Seirin’s coach.”
“Did the JBL coach ever apologize?”
“No, but he was fired.” Shin-chan sighed. “But they still introduced some
new rules ... as an Omega or as in Alpha in risk of getting pregnant, you are
not allowed to play for the JBL.”
“Idiots.” That meant Shin-chan would never play for the JBL. Their own loss
he guessed. “So will you become a tea master like your father wants or a
doctor?”
“Hm ... I’d like to be a doctor. Do you think you might like making tea?”
“I am very good at serving people.” Kazu grinned. “I would like to work
with your mom. She is a tea mistress, right? Do you think I can ask to become
her apprentice?”
“She will gladly teach you.” Shin-chan looked up with fearful eyes.
“It’s true, isn’t it? You take on every duty I can’t do ... that is
horrible.”
“Don’t tear up on me, Shin-chan.” He twisted his head a bit to be able to
kiss his boyfriend. “You know the worst thing about not having parents is that
no one has any expectations from you. You are simply there, you have no goal.
You don’t think “Oh, I can become a doctor, I have to study hard for that”
all by yourself. You don’t have any reason for existing. It feels like
floating, just not in a good way. You want to crush things and hurt people, just
so someone tells you what to do. I knew that wasn’t good for me, so I began
playing basketball, telling myself I want to be a basketball star one day. I
knew that wasn’t what I really wanted but it was better than nothing. By now,
I know that I want to be with you, I want to be a parent for our kids, a much
better one that my own were. That comes with a set of obligations but I don’t
resent them, I invite them. Your father thought I would crumble when he told me
his expectations but I actually like to have some for once. I don’t know if
I’ll like making tea but I can try, can’t I? If it does not work out,
we’ll find another solution. We still have two years of highschool in which we
can make our decisions. Thanks to your parents, we have that freedom.”
His boyfriend was silently mulling over his words like he often did and finally
asked: “Kids?”
“The more, the merrier, huh?” Kazu grinned. “I'm sure we can go another
ten thousand times. It might take some years though.”
Shin-chan just gave some kind of grunt that could mean anything really. But the
smile on his lips said everything.

Sometimes it seemed like Shin-chan had turned into a hound, sniffing him out
wherever he was. Mostly that was convenient but sometimes he wanted a moment to
himself. Calling his father was one of those things he wanted to do without his
boyfriend but there was no escaping. While he was still waiting for a
connection, the other found him in one of the rarely used parts of the mansion.
“Who is it?” Shin-chan mouthed.
“Father.” Kazu answered, deciding to go through with the call anyway. It was
not like he was keeping something from Shin-chan, he just didn’t want him to
hear in case it turned ugly.
“Good morning, Kazunari. How are you?” His father greeted.
“Fine, thank you. It’s evening here. So it was right you are still in
Atlanta?”
“Yes, I am. What happened this time?” His father didn’t exactly sound
annoyed, just also not very interested.
“Well, you haven’t been back for over a year now. It gets a little lonely in
that flat. So I decided to live with a friend and would like to cancel the
apartment. Can I send you all the necessary documents?”
“Sure. Who is that friend?”
“A classmate. His name is Midorima. His parents invited me to live with them.
Would you sent the rent money to my account, so I can give it to them
directly?”
“You were always good at making friends and charming other people’s parents.
Can I talk to them, please?” Wow, his father did worry a bit. That was new.
“Sure, I’ll go look for Misses Midorima.” Shin-chan directed him to the
kitchen where Miyako was preparing things for their bentos tomorrow. “Miyako?
It’s my father, he would like to ascertain that I am living with you and asks
how much rent you want for me.” He held the phone away and covered the mouth
piece. “Please say something like eighty thousand or he will not believe you
that you want me here.”
Worry clouded her gaze but she took the phone anyway and said: “Good evening,
this is Misses Midorima, Shin-chan’s mother ... it is very nice to meet you,
you have a wonderful son ... yes, we want him to live with us, our sons like
each other very much ... of course, we will-” She suddenly went very rigid.
“Are you serious? ... I see your point, but have you talked about that with
your son? ... yes, I will. Please give me your contact information and
address.” She took a notepad and a pencil seemingly from nowhere and began
writing. “Yes, yes ... wait, don’t you want our address?” Her voice
sounded distressed. She gave him the address and said her goodbyes, finally
staring at the mobile phone in horror. When she looked up, her eyes had filled
with tears.
“What has he said now?” Kazu was next to her in an instant. “I’m so
sorry. Has he insulted you?”
She drew him into a hug, weeping into his shoulder for a moment.
“I’m sorry, so sorry.” He hugged her back, unsure what to do now. What
could his father have said to make her cry like that?
“Let’s sit down.” She said after she had composed herself.
Shin-chan looked shocked, needing Kazu to kiss him back into reality to be able
to move. His mother did not seem to mind, she got cups for all of them and
poured the leftover tea from dinner. She sat and drank from her cup, close to
tears again.
“What has he said to upset you so?” Kazu worried.
“He ... oh, I can’t believe someone could say that about his child.” She
shook her head. “That man is no father.”
“Never was, never has been.” He had a gist what they had been talking about.
“Did he ask you to adopt me?”
“You know?” She looked up in shock.
“He tried that with a few people. I guess he knows he is no good as a father.
I just cost him money.” Kazu sighed. “Just say no, he is used to that. I
told him not to do it anymore because it normally ends with the other parents
rejecting me and not allowing me to speak with their kids again.”
“How often has he tried that?” She seemed lost, like his father had just
destroyed her world-view. He might have, she was a loving, kind mother, unable
to even imagine someone would reject a child.
“Err ... wait.” He began counting. Mostly it had been in his primary school
years, he couldn’t remember the ones in kindergarten but he was sure he had
asked some people there as well. “I remember six times in primary school and
once before my school years.” That was with their neighbours who he had loved
so much.
She shook her head dejectedly like she couldn’t believe what she heard.
“I’m sorry. Hearing about my family tends to upset people a lot.” He could
see the question in her eyes. “I am pretty used to it after sixteen years of
dealing with him. I gave up on crying, it doesn’t change anything anyway. I am
thankful he cares enough that he doesn’t simply give me into state custody.
There have been a lot of friendly adults in my life who made up for my lacking
family. I spent nearly my whole primary school life in other people’s
houses.”
“So that made you mature like this. I had wondered.” She drew out a
handkerchief and dried her eyes. “I’m sorry if my question will sound
hurtful, I don’t want that but ... why has no one ever adopted you?”
“I think people were creped out by my father too much. Just like you are right
now. And really, there aren’t many people who would take a stranger into their
family. I was positively surprised by your husband’s request to have me live
with you.”
“You are no stranger.” She took his hand.
“Well ... I am. Shin-chan knows me and his father’s request shows me how
much you trust your son’s judgement. Most parents think I must have a horrible
hidden side for my father to reject me like that. They trust his integrity a lot
more than mine, always thinking the fault must lie with me. I stopped trusting
people a long time ago ... until Shin-chan. He is too honest to be
distrusted.” Miyako held his hand on both of hers, squeezing it like it was
the only life-line she had right now. “You both have a loving and kind heart,
please don’t let this hurt you so much.”
“How could it not? It is so easy to love you, how could anyone not do it?”
Her voice broke.
Kazu sighed and simply gave up. That was always how it went. They cried, they
asked why, they couldn’t understand. Then they started to observe, suddenly
finding fault in minor mistakes he made. What they found loveable before turned
into reason to reject him. So he was nice and friendly? It meant he wouldn’t
voice his real thoughts. He sometimes got angry? That must be his real self
which he tried to hide so desperately. Who knew what he would turn into once you
said yes? What good could a motherless boy with a father who rejected him be?
Finally they would tell him not to come to their house anymore, not to talk with
their kids. He asked why the first and the second time. They always had an
excuse ready. They wanted to move anyway, the kids had to say their goodbyes,
their wanted their kids to concentrate on their studies, something, something,
anything.
“I’m your family now.” Shin-chan interjected, standing and hugging his
boyfriend from behind. “Kikyo and me.”
“Eh?” Kazu looked up, his vision suddenly blurry. He blinked, surprised to
feel tears running down his face.
Shin-chan smiled and said: “I finally understand why you love me. I am sorry
that I distrusted you. You told me again and again, I just didn’t listen.”
Okay? However this whole episode made his boyfriend understand him, it was good
that he did. Really, the world could turn upside down, as long as Shin-chan was
with him, it was okay.
“Yes, that’s the important thing.” Miyako dried her eyes again. “We are
your family now. Do you want us to adopt you? I could talk it through with my
husband.”
“You would?” Kazu asked in astonishment.
“Of course. My husband might decide on a trial period again to see if you can
meet his expectations but he already told you he would accept you as family if
you proved worthy in his eyes. Just like Shin-chan, he simply states what he
means. Having you take our name is in line with that.”
“You mean that? Really?” Well, the whole family was honest to a fault.
Shin-chan and his father were autists, his mother had most likely adapted.
“Our daughter has to accept as well. Have you ever met her? She is on a school
exchange in Europe. She’ll return next month.” Miyako smiled again. “She
is a very quiet but smart girl.”
More quiet than Shin-chan? Did she talk at all? Somehow he expected a
mistrustful little girl who gave of the feeling of a frightened animal.
Something that might claw at him, a female version of his boyfriend before they
became friends.
“Is there a good way to charm her? Sweets, make-up, railway timetables?” He
asked while drying his tears.
“She’s into geography. You can get her a book on country development in
Namibia or professional map drawing. Just don’t ever mention the word
pesticide. She gets annoying when she rambles.”
“Like how I shouldn’t mention aerodynamics around you?” The hints of a
grin changed his face.
“Aerodynamics is a perfectly legitimate topic-”
“For a date?” He interrupted. “Whatever you say, Shin-chan.”
“It’s so nice to have another sane person around.” Miyako had a sweet
smile on her face.
“Mother.” The green-haired grumbled. “I am able to understand the
implication.”
“Yes, Kazu taught you well.” She stood. “Does anyone want more tea?”
“No, thank you.” He looked up. “Do you want to go to bed?”
“Yes, please.” Shin-chan gave him room to stand as well. “Goodnight,
mother.”
“Sleep well, boys!” She waved them goodnight and continued her cooking. Her
smile was faint but it had returned at least.

“I can't believe I was able to earn your trust.” For once, Shin-chan was the
one who held him ins his arms at night. “I think if I were you, I would not
have been able to trust anyone ever again.”
“You are very trustworthy.” Kazu smiled. “I pleaded with the first family.
I asked them to please keep me, I wouldn't take up much room or food, but they
left anyway. I was five, so it is a bit blurry. I still remember the hurt
though, the disappointment and my tears. I had a bit of hope left with the
second family but after that, I simply gave up. No one wanted me, so I decided
not to want anyone as well. I lived with others until they got tired of me,
never trusting that anyone might actually like me. The older I got, the more I
distanced myself first from the families, then the friends until I was close to
no one in the end. I hoped that one day I would fall in love and become happy
like those families I had lived with … and then there was you. When I noticed
I was falling for you it was already too late. I could not fight my need to
trust and love you.”
“I still feel honoured.” The other kissed him.
“It's hard not to love someone back when you are this cherished.” Kazu
smiled, looking contentedly into green eyes.
“Speaking of love … or rather desire ...” Shin-chan seemed to blush,
averting his gaze.
“Oi, this will be interesting.” He grinned. What was his boyfriend coming up
with now?
“It's just … I know this is a strange place but-”
“Having you stutter and blush is unbelievably cute, Shin-chan.” He robbed
up, having their noses touch. “Whisper it in my ear.”
“Can we have sex, please?”
Kazu had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing out loud. Oh damn, that
was just too cute. Was his boyfriend really embarrassed to ask that? Maybe he
should tell him to strip and try asking again with a sexy voice … nah, he
shouldn't tease Shin-chan like that. He would do it with his doe-eyes and ask
why Kazu was laughing at his attempts at sexiness. Not to forget, he was
pregnant, so it was his duty to indulge his boyfriend.
“Of course.” They kissed with Kazu still being amused and in a good mood. At
least until his obi nearly got ripped away, suddenly feeling the other's skin
against his own, feeling their kiss turn devouring. “Shin-chan, wait a
second.”
“No.” His legs entwined him. “I want you inside me now.”
“I have to prepare you. I don't want to hurt either of y-” His speech broke
when the tip of his penis was suddenly enveloped by a slick, tight heat. “Did
you prepare yourself?”
“It might be the hormones but I can't think of anything else but having you in
me.” Shin-chan smiled. “I feel a bit Omega today.”
Well, okay, that did it. Kazu let go of his rationality and care, plunging
straight ahead into the willing body under him. Gods, this really must be what
being with an Omega must be like. That body, asking, pleading him to take him,
oh gods, this was so good.
His boyfriend wanted him to go faster, harder, he simply complied with
everything. This was so unbelievably good, better than anything before. Simply
knowing you could trust and were trusted in return, it made you able to let go
and let yourself fall. Falling and never hitting the bottom.

It was a wonderful sun-filled Saturday afternoon, a bit chilly maybe, when he
began his training in tea ceremony. Shin-chan had clothed him in a serving
yukata, telling him he would stain the kimonos, so he was to learn in a yukata.
Because it was a bit cold, he was made to wear two of them. Except for their
bathing yukatas, he had never worn one before. Wearing it tidied up instead of
lazily fastened gave it a different feel. Moving around was much harder, so his
training began with “How to move in this clothing”.
While he had expected to begin with learning about the tools, Miyako continued
the training in how to move. Shin-chan had always looked stiff to him – he now
learned that his posture was part of an ancient etiquette called Shin. It taught
how to stand, how to move, how to sit, to greet, even how deep to bow to whom
and in what fashion. After three hours of simply learning how to correctly walk
in a house like this, his brain was overloaded. People must seem like
troglodytes to Shin-chan simply by how unattentive they were to their posture.
No wonder he continually asked himself how to act when he was taught that one is
not allowed to enter a room without permission while your classmates were simply
running in and out. He immediately began to stuff Shin-chan with knowledge about
everyday etiquette versus Shin.
That seemed like an enlightment to his boyfriend. Poor thing, he was born in the
wrong time for his manners. He would have been a great feudal lord or advisor to
an emperor. For this family, Kazu was like a filthy commoner Shin-chan had taken
in as a stray that had to be groomed but would never learn the perfection of
inborn aristocratic grace. Well, he would still try his best, he was smart after
all. Overcoming instincts of your body was a question of will after all.
So he spent the whole Sunday walking, sitting, bowing, opening and closing doors
and elegantly carrying around accessories. Miyako and Shin-chan took turns
correcting his posture and movements. And some point even Shin-chan’s father
watched for a while but stayed silent. Hopefully he didn’t do too bad.
Midorima did not seem likely to throw him out but Kazu was sure this could be a
lot worse if he got on that man’s bad side.
Just imagining some low-bred guy would come into your house and tell you he had
gotten your first-born son and heir pregnant ... well, he should be happy he was
still alive. A lot of other men would have seen red. But Midorima seemed to be
an autist, his son was one and he was a trustworthy person who could make
decisions about his life even at sixteen. No one doubted that, not his parents,
not his teachers, not even their coach. Kazu could be happy his boyfriend was
such a reliable person or everyone would have his head rolling for carelessly
impregnating a seventeen years old guy.
So he stood as straight as he could, walked as silent as possible and toned down
his smile to an otherworldly expression of serenity. Of all those things he had
to learn, that waxen mask of contentedness was the hardest. Walking as if
gliding, sitting for hours in seiza, all those things were a matter of training
– he was quite good at training to learn physical things. But perfect control
over your facial expressions? Miyako concluded he was young and modern, an
addition to her very stern husband. Kazu doubted that said husband thought the
same. So he spent his evenings studying his face, having Shin-chan read
humoristic things to him that normally had him rolling on the floor in
laughter.
“I don’t like this.” Shin-chan suddenly said one evening.
“What?” Kazu turned to him from the mirror.
“That you’re learning to ... stop laughing? I mean, first I was annoyed how
you always joked around and laughed about your own stupid punchlines but that is
how you got me to start listening and learning about communication. You are
always positive and optimistic and happy and ... you are the one good thing in
my life. I don’t want you to become as quiet and controlled as I am.”
“Thank you.” Kazu got on his knees and kissed the other. “I love you too.
But just because I learn how to control my face when I serve tea does not mean
I’ll stop being myself around you.”
“You might get more quiet.” Shin-chan insisted.
“I’ll do that anyway when we grow older. I won’t make perverted jokes with
our daughter around. Whatever work I take up, I won’t be a comedian, so I’ll
become more settled anyway. People change over time. Couples just have to learn
to love the new one as well as the old.”
“I don’t want you to stop grinning and laughing.” He looked down to his
stomach. “I want our daughter to learn how to laugh and smile from you. I’m
not very good at showing how happy I am.”
“You don’t have to grin for me to know. It’s okay to be a reserved person.
Whoever our daughter will take after, she’ll be a beautiful girl with the most
adoring smile ever. Hopefully she’ll have your sparkling green eyes.”
“Black hair. This green is unnatural.”
“And your cute pout.”
“I don’t pout!” Of course Shin-chan did exactly that.
“Yeah, whatever.” Kazu simply kissed him.

Kazu tried his hardest to keep himself from laughing, keep his features
straight, but he simply couldn't. Chiyo was a spitting image of her brother.
Green hair, green eyes, stoic face.
“Is this the new boyfriend?” Monotonous voice as well.
“Kazu-kun is living with us.” Miyako took a step backwards after hugging her
daughter. “I hope you will like him. He is a pleasure to be around.”
“You already told me.” She bowed before him while he did the same. “My
name is Chiyo.”
“Kazunari, I am pleased to meet you. Your mother and brother have told me
about you.” He held out a bag to her. “I asked what to get you in a way of
greeting. I hope you'll like this.”
“That's an obvious bribe.” She took it anyway.
“Chiyo! That is very rude!” Her mother admonished her.
“But it's true, isn't it?” She seemed puzzled.
“Yes, it is true. And because I know your brother I also know that you don't
mean anything ill by it. Most people would think they were sly and would be
bothered by being found out. Openly pointing it out means exposing a fault to
other people which would humiliate the other. So while it is true, it is
considered rude to point it out.” Kazu explained in his usually cheerful way.
“I see. I am sorry. Thank you for the gift.” She glanced at the bag in her
hands. “May I open it?” Curiosity always got the better of Shin-chan as
well.
“Yes, of course. Feel free to tell me if you don't like it.”
“So this is how I should have brought them up.” Miyako mumbled a bit to
herself, a bit to Kazu. “You have to explain to that extent?”
“At least Shin-chan needed that.” That one seemed a bit stunned by the
exchange. “He was bitter because people misunderstood him time after time.”
Chiyo was already engrossed in one of the books which told him that she liked
her gift a lot. Most likely she was too interested to remember to thank him
again and say that she liked it.
“You are good at translating to the outside world.” Shin-chan took his hand
before sending his sister a wary look. “Just so we are clear, he is mine.”
“I got that.” She looked up from her book. “It's good to know such people
exist. I have to find one for myself. It would make life a lot easier to have an
explanation to emotional reactions. Though I can't see why you would prefer to
change yourself when others should grow up instead.”
“Because you can't immediately skip to being sixty and even then, people still
have emotional reactions.” Shin-chan explained. “It also gives you the
ability to understand your own emotional reactions.”
“I have long surpassed my childish self and have perfect control over my
emotions.” She declared.
“Really?” Her brother sounded sarcastic. “So that school did not have any
good-looking boys?”
“Tha- they, I mean-” She furiously blushed. “Those hormonal reactions will
stop after puberty.”
“They'll get less intensive but they don't stop.” He gave his sister a hug
as well, book and all between them. “Being pregnant is a destructive force on
your emotional control as well. And having an expressionless face is a horrible
way to bring up children. You should train.”
She did not seem to like his argument but had nothing she could counter with. So
finally she sighed and nodded. The hug between father and daughter was an
awkward one which seemed to verify what Shin-chan just said. Growing up with an
expressionless parent was hard on a child and did not help their development.
“I have to train as well.” Kazu said when he noticed how gloomy Chiyo seemed
to be. “I am trying to learn how to serve tea and I have problems keeping a
straight face in all situations.”
“Just concentrate on your task and don't listen to people.” She looked up.
“Though it is hard sometimes. When they are looking for a solution and
overseeing the completely obvious, I feel frustrated sometimes. Those
businessmen also waste a lot of time talking about unrelated things.”
“I would guess they are building up trust in each other with that.” He knew
from his father that Japanese businessmen tended to build trust for hours before
deciding on something in minutes while Americans debated for hours to find every
loophole in the other's offer. “That's why socially adept people who can
disconnect from their emotions are so dangerous in the business. They can fake
trust.”
She looked at him and seemed to think, keeping silent for a while. It was
exactly the same as Shin-chan who had sometimes kept him waiting minutes for an
answer. She finally said: “Have you spend a long time observing people or do
such insights come to you naturally?”
“My special ability is that I can observe people while doing something
unrelated. While we talk, I notice that the mother left of you is scolding her
child for hitting her in frustration and the two people behind me are a young
couple and the old man reading a paper over there is waiting for someone.” He
did not even have to look to know the people were still where he had last seen
them.
Her eyes widened, the first real expression he had seen on her face.
“No pranks for a year, he intercepts people trying to annoy me and he is there
in an instant if I need help, whatever he was doing in that moment.” Shin-chan
explained. “Coupled with his social skills, he is perfect for me.”
“So this must be what envy feels like?” She looked slightly stunned. “I
never felt that before.”
“Let's go home before you begin to quarrel.” Miyako intervened. “You don't
need to be that possive, Shin-chan, Chiyo won't take your boyfriend from
you.”
“I hope so. I understood why he likes me but she is me in a female body. And
he likes females. It makes me jealous if he just talks with her.”
“That's quite a hormonal reaction, Shin-chan.” Kazu scolded him lightly.
“She is thirteen and your baby sister. I couldn't even consider her, I am not
a pedophile and I would never do that to you. How about a little trust?”
“Emotional reactions are irrational, so I can't control them.” Shin-chan
grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers. “I am jealous right now.”
Kazu rolled his eyes but kept himself from commenting. Cute. He should just
think of it as cute and be happy it would get less intense in a month or two.

Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)