Last words from a distance   von akyo
                         (in tearful memory of Kazuki)
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                                  Kapitel 1: 
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Last words from a distance

Warning: poetry, dark, hat Bezug auf die Geschichte der J-Rock Band Raphael,
beziehungsweise den Sänger Kazuki und den Bassisten Yukito

Disclaimer: sie sind nicht mir, ich habe mir nur angemaßt diese kleine Gedicht
zu schreiben und ihre Name benutzt und so dem Ganzen Bezug zu gegeben, ich maße
mir nicht an zu behaupten das dieser Text irgendetwas mit der Wahrheit zu tun
hat oder die Realität wiederspiegeln soll


Last words from a distance

There you were, just waiting
You only took my hand, did not say a word
Not suspecting or expecting anything
You were the one who always accepted me for what I have been
Never tried to change me
I am so thankful for what you have been for me,
The only one I ever really and deeply loved
That you spend all this time pushing me, 
Lifted me up when I fell to deep to stood up by myself
You are the only reason why I am sorry to leave this world

But still you knew my pain,
The pressure, which did press me to the ground
I found haven in your arms and hell in the loneliness of my life
Nevermore not even you could take the dread away,
The fear that forced me to urge for every way to make me forget, 
To make my life seemed to be easier,
In the end all the drugs and all the medications could not help me anymore

I am so sorry for what I am about to do,
Sorry that I am not strong enough to stay and fight like you showed me to
I lost the last rest of my strength, can't even laugh anymore
In the future you will have to sing without me,
To keep on wandering around this cruel world alone
Coping with all the things I could not stand up to
Things, persons, dreams and aims I was to weak to fight or realize

Although you stayed with me even me dreams hunted me,
Drove me into panic, 
Not even the safety of your strong arms could keep me from screaming in terror,
yelling for help, crying and begging to bring this all to an fast and painless
end
I'd like to punish myself for what I have done to you,
For all the hours I did not listen to you,
All the nights I did not let you touch me,
All the cruel things I sad to you,
I did not deserve you for you are so perfect, 
so beautiful that I can't not believe that I was the lucky one to kiss these
soft lips to touch this marble skin, 

there is only one wish left,
I beg you, don't cry
Your eyes filled with tears will scatter my heart into fragments even were I am
about to go

Yukito, 
I promised you once that I will never leave you alone in the darkness of this
world
And I will not break my promise, because I am not going far, for I am only going
as far as heaven,
And heaven is right next to your heart,
Inside your heart


I will be forever by your side,
Will watch you forever, 
And love you forever
Aishiteru
Kazuki



In tearful memory of Kazuki......

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