Nursing   von _Shary_
                                (Sousuke x Rin)
================================================================================
                                  Kapitel 1: 
                                  -----------


HACHOO.

It was a cold December evening as Rin was sitting in his bed wearing thick
clothes and a scarf, wrapped up in a warm blanket that had little sharks on it.

"I told you to keep warm when you go outside! This is not Australia after
all...", Sousuke sighed as he entered Rin's room and handed him a cup of tea he
had just brewed.

"I DID keep warm! I just can't help falling ill every winter... It's Japan's
fault!...", the redhead complained and accepted the tea, holding it in both of
his hands to warm them. Then he took a sip.

He had just returned from Australia for winter holidays. It was his first visit
back to Japan since he had started his exchange program this April and upon
entering the cold Japanese winter air, he had immediately fallen ill.
"Also I didn't ask you for help...", he went on sulking. Actually he hadn't even
wanted to go back to Japan for winter holidays, but his mother had insisted on
it. She wanted to hear about his improvements and Rin had to lie to her that
everything was fine even though he hadn't made any real progress since enrolling
to the foreign school. It wasn't like he didn't have any fun at the new school
but concerning his swimming, which played a big role in his life, it had been
disappointing until now. It was the fault of his own failure and he had promised
to not face anybody back home until he had finally improved and wasn't ashamed
of himself anymore. But his mother had thwarted his plans.

Sousuke laughed at the face Rin was making. That was so like him. He knew that
Rin didn't have an easy time back in Australia, but the redhead was too proud to
show it to anyone. That was also the reason why he hadn't invited him to come
over in the first place. He was probably being hard on himself, telling himself
to not see anyone until he improved. He couldn't fool Sousuke though. The taller
one knew him too well. When he had heard about Rin being back in Japan and
having a cold he immediately came over. After all that was what he had always
done when Rin fell sick and his friend probably needed him right now.
Furthermore he couldn't wait to see him again. Their separation had been even
more painful for the black haired boy than he had ever imagined...That's when he
had realized something about his feelings he probably shouldn't have. He was in
love with Rin. Whenever he thought about the other boy his heart tightened or
fluttered or both at the same time. It was crazy and he couldn't fully
understand it himself, but he knew that when it came to Rin his feelings had
always been uncommonly intense. Knowing that the other boy most likely hadn't
even thought about something like love in the first place, yet with another boy,
he had to keep silent about his feelings though. All Rin was obsessed about was
swimming and he couldn't risk to make the other one hate or ignore him for
feeling such weird things. That would be the ultimate pain and only thinking
about something like that made his heart wrench in pain. He had underestimated
how hard it'd be to ignore his feelings now that the other one was finally right
next to him again, but so far he had managed to keep his cool and act like he
always had. He couldn't afford losing his composure!

Sousuke sat down on a chair next to Rin's bed and they continued talking about a
lot of things. Rin told him about his everyday life in Australia, about a trip
to a coral reef he had made with his host family and how beautiful that had
looked, about Australian guys being big like crazy and extremely
broad-shouldered, even more so than Sousuke, about the food his host mother
liked to cook and much more. The taller one was entranced by Rin's stories. He
couldn't even imagine swimming in front of colorful corals, being surrounded by
strange foreigners who spoke a language he didn't really understand or having to
eat strange looking food. It was like a different world for him, a world he
couldn't get a grip on. Rin being able to do all of those wondrous things was
amazing after all. He admired his courage. And whenever Rin talked about
something funny and his face split into that dazzling smile of his, Sousuke's
heart felt warm and he felt his own face beaming. 

After a while the alarm next to Rin's bed showed 15:00 pm and the sun was
already setting, with the last warm sun rays shining through the transparent
curtains and falling on the shark-patterned blanket.

“Is it okay for you to stay this long? Aren't you afraid you'll infect
yourself?”, Rin asked suddenly.

“Not at all, it's okay!”, the other one replied immediately. Being afraid of
infecting himself now that he was finally reunited with Rin again was the last
thing he could think of! “On the contrary. I want you to get well soon, so
that we can swim together before you have to return to Australia again.”

Suddenly Rin's expression fell and he grew silent.

“...”

Sousuke gave the redhead a piercing stare. 

“You know you can talk to me when something's bothering you. Please tell me. I
wanna try to help at least.”
Rin clicked his tongue and avoided Souske's stare. “You can't help me. And I
don't want to talk to you about that...”
The taller one grew upset. Why was he such a pighead?! Wouldn't talking about it
make it feel easier afterwards? It wasn't that he himself was a good example,
but anyway...

“I know exactly what you feel! You feel ashamed that you still haven't made
any progress and that everyone is faster than you. But isn't that okay for now?
You don't need to be the best from the very start. It's only natural for them to
be faster than you, since they've been training in Australia for much longer
than you. As long as you don't give up you don't need to be blame yourself. Keep
going and you'll get better than them! If it's Rin I'm sure you can do it!”,
he replied in a loud voice. That topic had made him a bit too fired up. It was
the reason for Rin's bad mood and he couldn't sit still, avoiding it any
longer.

Rin himself looked angered right now. “You've got no idea! You don't know what
it is like to be the last one every time! To be made fun of by everyone, by
being pitied by the others because you're the weak small outsider! Maybe
swimming doesn't have something to do with training after all, but with talent.
And I just don't have it...Not like...not like him...”

Him. Sousuke's face grew dark after Rin mentioning him. He was talking about
Haruka Nanase again...

“Although I promised myself to win against him when I come back from
Australia. I don't know if I 'm ever gonna be able to do so...Even though I
wanted to show him a sight he's never seen before. Even though I wanted to show
him how much you can improve if you work on your skills with a motivation in
mind.” Even though I wanted to swim with him together in the future. The
unspoken words filled the air.

The black haired boy gritted his teeth.“Just forget about that guy! He is not
worth you obsessing over him!” The words slipped out of his mouth.
Rin turned his face towards Sousuke wearing a furious expression. “Don't say
that! You don't really know him! He is awesome... I never saw anyone swim like
him.” His words were a mixture of admiration and bitterness, but the taller
one could see a spark in Rin's eyes whenever he talked about the other boy.

Sousuke couldn't stand it anymore. It hurt him. Haruka here, Haruka there. Rin
had transferred schools before he went to Australia because of Haruka. But what
did this Haruka do for him? Nothing!! Who was here for Rin now that he was ill?
Him and not Haruka! His friend was feeling bad about not living up to his own
expectations because of Haruka. This boy wasn't good for him but the redhead
didn't seem to understand that!

“He's not good for you! When will you finally get it?! You'd better distance
yourself from him!” He was so angry already that he couldn't hide his thoughts
and yelled at the other.
The smaller one replied his angry tone just as angry and looked at him with a
frown. “Don't tell me what I should do! You're just jealous because he is
better than you are!”
Of course Rin only meant the swimming but at that moment something inside
Sousuke clicked. He couldn't control himself any longer.

Climbing on top of the other one he pushed Rin's arms into the soft mattress
with his own hands, thus holding him down.
Taken by surprise, the redhead threw him a fierce look, trying to shake him off
but Sousuke was sitting on his legs which made it impossible. “Hey! This isn't
the time to fight! Are you stupid?!”
Not responding, the black haired boy suddenly bent down and silenced him by
placing his lips on Rin's.

Sousuke felt Rin's body freeze in shock but he couldn't care at the moment. He
was being selfish for once and it felt too good to stop. Rin's lips were soft
and warm. They tasted sweet and Sousuke couldn't make out if it was because of
the tea he had drunken before or if they were always like this. But what was
most stunning was that he could smell Rin's body scent as intense as never
before. He couldn't take in enough of it; he wanted to drown in it all day long.
Even though the other one didn't respond, he couldn't stop kissing him;
immersing into Rin's presence further and further. Losing his senses completely,
he began using his tongue when-

OUCH!

He whinced when a sharp pain flashed through his tongue and he lost his grip on
Rin's arms for a moment. The redhead had bitten his tongue, making it bleed in
the process. Using Sousuke's distraction to his favor, he pushed the taller one
off of him, making him fall from the bed with a thump.

Standing up from the bed, Rin glared at Sousuke with a mixture of anger and
sadness. Tears were dwelling at the corner of his eyes.
“Sousuke, you idiot!! That was my first one! I hate you!!”, he cried out,
taking his coat in a hurry and rushing out of the room while slamming the door,
leaving behind a broken Sousuke.

Realizing that he had just destroyed everything, the black haired boy slumped
down. His mind turned blank. What had he done? Despair was tying up his heart,
making it hard to breath.
Not moving and looking onto the little sharks on Rin's blanket apathetically,
silent tears began to fall from his eyes.



                                  Kapitel 2: 
                                  -----------


Sousuke was lying in his bed, wrapped up in blankets. He coughed every now and
then but he didn't accept his mom's offers for tea or biscuits. He didn't feel
like eating and this had been going on for some days now. Having caught a cold
himself shortly after that day he visited Rin, he had spent his time in bed
afterwards, refusing to see anyone or to eat most of the time. He was worrying
his mother and he felt guilty for it, but there was nothing he could do about
it. In the end it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. He felt like
he was being absorbed by a black hole. There was no purpose in his life he could
think of, now that he had ruined everything. Even swimming didn't make any sense
if Rin wasn't there to compete with. His every day life since Rin left Japan had
been difficult, but there had always been a glimpse of hope for the future: The
knowledge that Rin would come back for him in a few years and swim with him
again. It had been his motivation to keep going. His motivation to improve so
that Rin would see him as a worthy opponent again when he returned home. But now
all of his hopes had been shattered. He would never swim with Rin ever again,
even when he would finally return from Australia. He even hated himself for what
he did to Rin in the spur of his anger, so of course it was out of question that
Rin hated him, too. He even said it out loud. Pushing his feelings onto others;
he really was the worst. Remembering Rin's teary face staring at him in anger
made him cringe internally, but he couldn't shake off the thought. It felt like
this was his just punishment. The only thing he could hope for was that Rin was
on the way back to Australia already and wouldn't have to think about what he
did any longer.

Suddenly someone knocked on his door.
“I don't want any tea, mom! I told you before! And I don't want any cookies
either!”, he yelled at the door, feeling bad for talking in a rude way at the
same time.
The door opened anyway. 
“I'm not your mom though!”
Sousuke couldn't believe what he saw, but it was Rin entering his room. He was
wearing a somewhat pouty expressions on his face and didn't look at him
directly, but he seemed to be fit again.
“Your mom let me in. She also told me you haven't eaten for days! Are you
stupid?!”
He finally turned his gaze towards him, looking angrily again. Then he took a
box out of his rucksack and slammed it on the table next to Sousuke's bed.
“I came because mom told me you're ill. You always come over when I'm ill, so
I thought I'd do that, too. I also made those cookies, so you better eat
them!”
Rin crossed his arms while looking at Sousuke demandingly. He wanted him to open
the box.
Sousuke still couldn't believe what was happening right now. He wasn't
hallucinating, was he? Why did Rin come back to him after he did something
absolutely non-excusable? Even after he told him he hated him! Did he forgive
him after all? It seemed so. Rin was too good for him...
Still being pierced by Rin's demanding stare, he opened the box and saw
fish-shaped biscuits lying in it. They were a bit dark, but they were definitely
biscuits. Rin's self-made biscuits. For him. Even though he didn't deserve
them.
Tears were forming on the corner of his eyes. “Thank you...”, he spluttered
in a raspy voice. He hadn't talked much for days.
The redhead bit his lips upon seeing Sousuke cry. He quickly turned away and
answered in a shaky voice: “Gonna make you some tea now!” With that he
rushed out of the room.

Meanwhile Sousuke took one of the biscuits and tried it. They were slightly
burned and didn't really taste that good but Rin had made them for him, so he'd
make sure to eat all of them.

*~*~*

After Rin returned with a cup of steaming chamomile tea, they started talking
about this and that, purposely avoiding what had happened last time and acting
like normal. The redhead told him that his flight for Australia departed in
three days from now and that his school would start on the next day after that.
Sousuke offered to take him to the airport if his mother was okay with that, but
Rin refused to accept his offer as long as Sousuke was still ill until then.

“I'm gonna make sure to get well until then!”, Sousuke stated determined. 

“Yeah, you better do!” Rin grinned and playfully boxed Sousuke's shoulder to
motivate him.

Everything was back to normal. Sousuke's heart felt warm again. Rin was by his
side and they were laughing together. That's what he wanted and as long as that
was possible everything was fine. He had been such an idiot to risk it!

“But you falling ill is kinda your fault for doing such reckless stuff. Every
child knows you shouldn't get too close to an ill person and yet you even kissed
me. You're really an idiot.”

Oops. The words flooded out of Rin's mouth, without him really thinking about
it. After realizing what he just said, his face turned red. Sousuke also felt
his face heat up when Rin mentioned his kiss bluntly. An embarrassed silence
grew between them.
 
Not standing the embarrassing silence, Rin spluttered: “Why'd you do something
like that anyway? I-I'm not a girl! You know that!”
Once again his face had changed to a flustered expression.

“Besides...that's not how you do it. That wasn't romantic at all!”

Upon that remark along with Rin's pout, Sousuke suddenly let out a laughter.

“Hey! You shouldn't be laughing about that!”

“But talking about 'romantic' stuff makes you sound like a girl after all.”,
Sousuke snickered.

“What?! You don't have any clue! Men can be romantic, too!!”

They quarreled again, but it ended in them laughing. Nothing had been destroyed.
Even his reckless action hadn't destroyed their bond. Maybe he had
underestimated their friendship in the end, Sousuke thought. He was a fool for
doing this and he swore to himself to have more faith in their relationship in
the future. A warm feeling spread inside of him. 

“I think you were right, Sousuke. I shouldn't give up.”, Rin suddenly went
on talking after a while. “If I keep up with my training I will definitely
become stronger and faster. It's not like me to give up easily. I'm gonna train
hard and then I will even beat Haru in the end!”

He was talking about Haruka Nanase again. But this time Sousuke kept his calm.
As long as he could be with Rin like this forever everything was okay. Even a
Haruka Nanase couldn't destroy their bond that already existed.

“And you know, Sousuke, when that time comes I want you to be the one to cheer
me on then. When I won against Haru I want to turn around and see you waving for
me and congratulating me.”

Sousuke's eyes widened when he heard those words. He looked at Rin and saw that
the other one was smiling at him widely.

“I'm gonna show you that I'll be the fastest! So just wait for me!”
The black haired boy's face cracked into a warm smile.

“However long it will take, I'm definitely gonna be there and wait for you. I
promise.”

Hearing those words along with Sousuke's smile; it made Rin blush for whatever
reason.

“Rin, are you sure your fever is gone? Your face is red.”, the taller one
remarked a bit worriedly, approaching the other one, wanting to check his fever.


“Ah...I'm okay! D-don't come closer! You're just gonna infect me again!”

It was a cold winter, but somehow Sousuke's heart felt a little warmer then
before.




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