worms of hysteria   von Aufgerouget
                              (crowded thoughts)
================================================================================
                            Kapitel 2: upside down
                            ----------------------


Yesterday I went to theatre, student theatre to help them. Maybe for the last
time. if they wanted me to never come back again, they are really really smart.
Some of the guys (no matter, what gender) are really good in being nasty to
persons ... and they don't care about the fact whether they need them or not. Or
would you be unpolite to a volunteer worker who can back home everytime?
...
Nevermind.
It was a strange evening in January.
I don't know why I was where, I had just too much freetime. 
I think 'cause instead of a nice "hi, how are you?" I got a "very nice": "oh,
you've got a red coat, too. Mine looks better, yours look like shit." 
Okay .... my boyfriend loves that red coat, b*tch, so beware of him. This girl
is kind of shortminded, she's that "I'm so girly girl, I have to lost 30 pounds
everytime when a boyfriend breaks up" - and you already know - that's very
often. 
You're are a lucky blond moroon 'cause my bf went to opera in Kassel this
evening. 
I've got a bad taste in love stuff, too - but in a different way and that's a
lot easier.



                       Kapitel 3: let's be serious, boys
                       ---------------------------------


Not in a good mood today. Some guys are just *ssholes.
One of the 'cause I left him, okay, I've got a new boyfriend, how cruel and all
I want is not the half of the rent for our apartment or other things, I just
want my father's guitar bag.

And I'm over 20, okay, but I'm so happy that I haven't married - 'cause I've
never met that kind of guy. 
One person were to boring, one too lazy, one too complicated and so on and so
on.

I don't want to marry the money, I want to be in love as a patnership -
everybody has its own life and I don't want dependence and addiction of that
guys anymore. Yes, of course, it's a nice feeling to be needed by somebody. But
when you are 20 or older, you have to solve problems on your own.
Before I'm the substitute mother of a guy, I rather stay alone.

The other person is just jealous, too and instead of say to me that I am a b*tch
who is in a couple with the man this person love, this person just treat me as a
friend and is so sorry for this or that ... *ullshit.
I'm not a blondie, I'm smart. I know that you don't like the fact that I kiss
the mouth you always wanted ...... 
But if guys are to shy to be straight forward that's not my problem.




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