The Pain within von _Severus_ (Severus SnapexSirius Black) ================================================================================ Kapitel 15: Chapter 14 ---------------------- Severus sat in the Library, starring out of the window. His hands were bandaged, and so was his right leg. Bruises covered his body, and his lip was cut. The day after Severus had brought Sirius to the Hospital Wing, James had gone mad. He had beat up Severus worse then ever before. He had broken his bones, and hurt him so much, that Severus had lost consciousness. But Severus truly didn’t mind. He had deserved every little bit of it. James was right. It was all his fault. Now, a week later, Sirius had been released. The boy had fully recovered, and was as healthy as before. Severus hadn’t visited him after the first night. Not that James had let him, but even if he could have, he probably wouldn’t have. It’s better the way it is now. Severus thought to himself. This way, he won’t be hurt anymore because of me. My father was so right. Everything I touch breaks. I can’t do anything right. I can’t even protect the man I love. Slowly Severus got up, walking to the window, watching as a few students walked over to the see. The sun was shining, but it felt as if it was laughing at him, making fun of his sorrow. Don’t be ridicules. Who would care enough about you to make fun of you? Severus smiled slightly at the thought. Things had all been better as Sirius had still made his life hell. At least Sirius had been safe. That night, Severus had made a decision. He was going to stay away from Sirius, run from him and hide. If he wasn’t around him, he wouldn’t be hurt. It was as simple as that. The Slytherin knew that Sirius was probably looking for him right now, and would end up searching here as well. Severus still couldn’t decide if he wanted to tell Sirius what he was planning or just run. If I don’t say anything at all, he would probably be really mad and forget all about me. Severus thought, staring at the See. It would be the right thing to do. This way, he would think the worst of me, and he could move on. Severus took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds. But I’m not selfless. And I’m not going to do the right thing. I want him to remember me as something good. I want him to look back, and feel something pleasant. If there was anything pleasant to remember, after Lucius had beat the shit out of him. “Severus?” a voice called. It made Severus smile. The Gryffindor really knew him. “I’m over here, Sirius.” Severus called, turning around so he could face Sirius. The black-haired boy quickly walked over, looking at his injuries as if he felt the same pain, and carefully hugged him. “I’m sorry he hurt you love.” he whispered, softly stroking the back of his lover. “I’m sorry he wouldn’t let you see me.” Severus shook his head, softly pushing Sirius away from him. “No Sirius, it’s okay. I deserved this. Every part of this. And before you start talking, I want to say something.” Sirius looked at him confused but then nodded “Okay... shoot.” Severus swallowed hard, and nodded. He had to do this. He just had to. Be strong. You are doing this for him, remember? You have to do this. Or he will be hurt again. And that’s the last thing that should happen. “Sirius...” he started, swallowing again. His whole body was shaking, his voice broke. “Sev, honey, are you okay...?” Sirius asked, gently taking one of the Slytherins hands, stroking it. It brought tears to Severus eyes. He didn’t want to leave Sirius. But he had to. “Yes, Sirius. I am fine.” he replied, taking a deep breath. “...Sirius, I can’t keep seeing you.” Sirius expression was pure shock. “...What?” “I can’t see you anymore.” Severus said, forcing himself to bring out the words. “It’s just too dangerous.” “Sev, this isn’t funny. Stop it.” Sirius whispered, looking at Severus with begging eyes. He had to be joking. He just had to. “I’m not trying to be funny.” Severus whispered. “Because of me you were hurt. I can’t take that Sirius. I... I love you to much to but you in such danger.” “Severus, what are you saying?!” Sirius asked, his voice now angry. “So Malfoy is a loon, and snapped. It doesn’t mean that I’m in danger only because I’m around you! It has nothing to do with you!” “Oh, it had nothing to do with me?” Severus asked upset, while tears welled up in his eyes. “If I hadn’t been going out with you, if you hadn’t been with me that night... Lucius wouldn’t have hurt you at all! You would have been safe!” “If I hadn’t been going out with you, I would have never learned about true love.” Sirius said. “I would bare any pain if it meant being with you Severus! You are the love of my life, don’t you get that?!” “I can’t be!” Severus said, desperately holding back the tears that threatened to run over his cheeks. “I can’t be the love of your life, and I can’t marry you! Sirius, I’m going to be the end of you!” “It will be my end if you leave me.” Sirius voice was soft, his expression calm. “If you leave me Severus, I will die. I couldn’t take the heartbreak.” “I’m sorry Sirius.” Severus whispered. He couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. They ran down his cheek, falling to the floor. “It just can’t be.” “I won’t give up.” Sirius said, softly wiping a tear from his face. “I won’t let you go Severus.” “You have to.” Severus pleaded, pushing Sirius hand away. “This is not the time for you stupid Gryffindor pride or anything like that! Sirius, Lucius could have killed you, don’t you understand? How can you be so stubborn? So suicidal?!” Sirius just shook his head. “This isn’t about Gryffindor pride Severus. This is about holding on to what I love. I’m not going to let you go.” Severus shook his head, not looking at Sirius. The other boy had gone mad. How was he going to keep him away from himself? If Sirius went on like this, he was going to forget all about not being with him and rush into his arms, and never let him go again. “Look at me Severus.” Sirius said. “I will not let you go. We will marry. And you will stay with me forever.” Severus couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to leave. “It was never supposed to be Sirius.” he breathed, rushing by Sirius as fast as he could. Sirius turned, watching him, and called “I won’t let you go.” But he let Severus go. He knew that the Slytherin needed time to think about everything. Severus ran straight to the Slytherin common room, throwing himself on his bed. Everything was so messed up. It had all gone wrong. I’m never going to survive this. Severus thought, starring at the ceiling. The door opened, and Severus sat up. And as he saw who was standing in the room, he almost forgot to breath. “Lucius?” he asked, unbelieving. “What are you doing here?!” “Please Severus, don’t be upset.” the blond said, slowly walking toward him. “I want to talk to you.” “Not be upset?” Severus snapped, quickly getting up from the bed. “Have you lost your mind?! You almost killed my boyfriend!” “And I will succeed the next time if you don’t sit down and closely listen.” Lucius said, his voice as cool as always. Severus couldn’t believe his ears. “I mean it Severus. Sit down next to me.” Lucius sat on the bed, waiting for Severus. This can’t be true. How often had the thought this in the past few days? Way to much. But he started walking, and slowly sat down next to Severus. “Now, my little snake.” Lucius said, softly petting his head as if Severus was some kind of pet. “You know I like you. And I want you. As long as nobody else could have you, it was tolerable for me not being with you. But the situation has changed.” Severus swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. Was this really happening? “I can’t let that Gryffindor have you. There is just no way I. So, I thought about it.” Lucius took on streak of the black hair into his hands, playing with it. “Severus Snape, if you want Sirius Black to live, you will become my pet. You will do anything I tell you to do, whenever I want you to do it. This is the only way you can ensure Black’s safety.” “... You got to be kidding.” Severus said. “You just got to be kidding.” “I am not kidding at all, my little pet.” Lucius answered, smiling at him like he had said nothing wrong. “Will you agree to this?” Severus stared at Lucius. He was really being serious. He has to be out of his mind. Did I injure his head? On the other hand, I really think he would do it. He would really kill Sirius. Severus closed his eyes, biting his lower lip, and then asked “You promise that Sirius is safe? From you and anyone else?” “He will be safe.” Lucius answered. “And he will not be harmed by a poison or anything? You promise that nothing will happen to him?” “Nothing.” Lucius repeated, smiling softly at Severus. “Do you agree?” Severus didn’t answer for a few minutes, just looking at the man he used to adore. Then, he had made a decision. He took a few deep breaths, swallowed hard and then answered “...I agree.” Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)